Tuesday, February 27, 2007

"She seems a little...."

My title is quoting something I said today, except I'm leaving out what it is that she seems. I don't want people to think too horribly of me. Nor do I want any hate mail or the CIA or something like that showing up on my front doorstep.

But do you ever feel like you should wear a sign that says "I often put my foot in my mouth!" I do. And man, do I. Sometimes I feel like if I'm not putting my foot in my mouth, then I'm saying something totally offensive to someone or saying something that makes me sound like a racist/prejudiced/you name it kinda person. Which I'm totally not. I've put my foot in my mouth a couple of times lately and I'm thinking that maybe I should really just keep my comments to myself. But hey, if you ask for them.... ;)

Monday, February 26, 2007

Sometimes they're up

And sometimes they're down. Just last week, I was having one where I was ready to hand over my mom badge, escape marriage-hood, dye my hair bleach blonde and drive off in the sunset over the edge of the cliff with my friends, Thelma and Louise. I was at my wits end and every bit of patience and lovingness had escaped my ever-lumpy body. I felt as though my medication wasn't working and the only emotion I could show was anger. It was destroying me to see my kids flinch in fear when I started yelling over something dumb, but I just couldn't control it. I wanted out. I needed it gone. Monday, which was the worst of the worst, was the turning point. I had asked my dh the previous week for a blessing. After a trying day, I finally got it and life didn't seem so dreary after that. Focus on the gospel and the happiness it brings. It brought me such comfort and I haven't been nearly as angry. I have found joy in simple things like dancing around the bedroom with my kids. I kind of like my kids a little bit more. ;) So moods. Sometimes they're up and sometimes they're down.