Sunday, July 24, 2011

rambling

Since my last post was "enlightening", I of course have to have another post to bring you off of that high.  ;) 

The last week or so, I have just been feeling blah.  Not sick or under the weather, just a lull of happiness.  I've been feeling unappreciated/overlooked/underpaid (ha!), unheard, just...like my only goal in life is to clean up after my kids and be the maid of the house.  Just nod my head and go along with whatever they need/want. 

And it's so frustrating!  Bon asked if I follow through.  I don't know.  I think I do, but they just don't seem to care.  I'm just Mom and not a person to them. 

So he told the kids that our family is like a swim team and if someone stops swimming, then they drown and/or don't go anywhere.  He told them that I feel like they have stopped swimming and they need to start swimming so our family doesn't drown. 

Which is great, but I still get the feeling that once the week goes on, we will be floundering again.  Maybe it is me.  Maybe I am the one who needs to change. 

2 comments:

Shanel said...

I think this is a totally normal feeling for Moms. You are not alone. Also, we are in the middle of summer, everyone is bored and sick of being home...they need school...we need school :) hang it there!

Fireball and Thrillhouse said...

I too feel those feelings are far too common with every mom. We just had a huge discussion about this at our house. One thing that helped me was doing this play. It has been GREAT for me. It got me out of the house for 4 nights a week from 7-10pm so I didn't have to clean or do bedtime routine. :) Maybe you need some time a way for a few weeks doing something that magnifies a talent or builds a skill. That way in a few weeks - you'll feel like you've had some down time without the commitment of a job or whatever. It was like heaven coming home and having the house cleaned and kids in bed!!! Plus the kids like hearing about how rehearsals went and got a kick out of watching me practice.

I kind of cringed when Bon asked about following through. Of course, I don't know all that was behind it ... but if Jason would have said that to me weeks ago I would have fallen apart... just because as moms we can't possibly do everything and a statement like that almost implies that we aren't doing enough or fully committing in some way. Sometimes we've maxed out --- no matter how much the kids ARE doing, how many "good' things we are accomplishing, and how many wonderful principles we are living - there is still a hanging cloud. Asking us Moms to reflect on our follow through -- It naturally puts our mind into over drive with "well?! is your checklist complete? GET CRACK'N" LOL Potential for major guilt. haha I am sure he didn't mean harm by it - just a self-reflection moment... but man - bad time and a bad question can just push one over the edge when you already feel like you are dangling off it. :)

For what it is worth - I LOVE reading your blog. I think you are doing a great job raising your kids. They are adorable and funny. Despite all the struggles you are open, honest, raw and still devoted with all the love you give. All you are doing is worth it and silent appreciation is probably best as a Mother... otherwise our egos would be bigger than our hearts. ;) Love yah!!