Wednesday, March 13, 2013

And repeat.

Tonight as the kids were trying to settle down for bed (man, this daylight savings time is KILLER!), I came downstairs to survey the mess.  I looked around and saw dirty dishes all over the counters, piling out of the sink, the empty dishwasher just opened up and ready for business.  I saw bookbags scattered on the floor, partnered with the shoes that carried them to and from school that day.  I saw jackets laying lifeless, stretched from one room into the next.  And I stood in the middle of it all and made a guttural noise and rubbed my eyes and face to prevent myself from breaking into tears.  Bon asked what was wrong and I quickly said that life sucks sometimes.  It's the same thing every day.  Over and over.  I dove into the dishes and scrubbed some of my frustrations out.

Then I felt so dumb.  Of course it's the same thing every day!  Would I rather live a life where I don't know where I'll be one day to the next?  Would I rather live a life clean and tidy without my children or husband?  A big fat NO!

So while I strive to have the picture perfect life, I understand that I will always have a pile or three of something, anything laying around waiting to find it's proper home.  I will always find scissors anywhere else but where they belong.  I will always know that I won't ever have the complete set of screwdrivers in one spot at one time.  My floors will have crumbs, the walls will have fingerprints and it might even be a little gross around the toilet until I get a chance to clean.  But that's okay.  No one is eating off of any of those.

As long as I remember to always tell my kids that I love them.  That I always give them my attention and praise.  That they feel love and safety when they are with me.   Those are the things that matter.


Kendra said...


Sue said...

Wait, did you dig into my journals and copy one of my entries? No? Then this must mean that others feel the same way I did once. I guess we must all be normal after all!!
I can tell you didn't actually copy my journal because this was very well written. :)