Upon returning from Ohio, Ryan has been having issues with going to sleep/staying asleep. Bon and I are getting frustrated and we're trying really hard to keep to a routine, but sometimes things just don't go smoothly at bedtime. Last Saturday at one in the morning, Ryan kept popping up out of bed and Bon became so frustrated he went to the basement to sleep. Ryan came into bed with me and slept, finally. Ryan wants someone with him; Bon and I just want to be alone at night.
So as I laid there, I was saying a silent prayer, once again, praying for Ryan, for ways we can help him, for inspiration on how to help him, what to say, etc. I was tired and frustrated and I think about halfway through my prayer, I just questioned if He was even there. Was He even listening? Did He even care?
Fast forward to the next morning, we walked into the chapel and I was approached by the Executive Secretary. Would I give the closing prayer? I wanted to turn to him and say "Are you kidding me??" because I just had this internal struggle and I really don't like praying in public to begin with. But I agreed.
Fast forward to the closing prayer. As I was walking toward the podium, I felt this overwhelming love. I felt this peace and comfort and assurance that He is there and He does care. He hears our prayers and He loves each and every one of us. I croaked through a closing prayer, grabbing a tissue on the way down.
On Tuesday, we had a RS presidency meeting and I had the spiritual thought. I shared this experience from Sunday and this scripture.
Moroni 10:7 And ye may know that he is, by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore I would exhort you that ye deny not the power of God; for he worketh by power, according to the faith of the children of men, the same today and tomorrow, and forever.
In my patriarchal blessing, I am promised many things as long as I have faith. That brings me comfort when I remember those blessings. I often feel imperfect and I know I have many shortcomings, but I know that with my faith, I can only grow and become stronger in the gospel. http://www.lds.org/scriptures/gs/faith?lang=eng