A 2018 update post

life passes fast, doesn't it? And in other ways it drags on and situations seem neverending. 

The Farm:
The latest update about our land/house situation is that we purchased my sister's share and the sale went through on the first of February.  So we now own all the land and the house and if there comes a time when she has the means and the desire, the option is there that she can buy back some land.  But as for now, it's ours.  Her car stopped working at the end of February (because she claims she didn't know it was as bad as it was...down to 0 brake pads in the front and hardly any in the back and she had worn grooves in the rotors....not sure how in the heck you wouldn't know!!) so the months of March and April were made deciding on a new car.  She finally purchased one and our next step is making her get her things out of the house.  I'm frustrated and annoyed with everything that is in here that isn't ours.  Our lives have been turned upside down long enough and my kids deserve better than this.  I have so much anxiety and stress when I think about dealing with her.  Bon has stepped up and helped out a lot with talking with her because he can actually have a conversation with her.  She usually just steamrolls me and I get too upset about that fact that I end up either blowing up or shutting down.  Neither of them healthy options. 

Reagan:
She turned 15 in March and applied and interviewed for a job at an ice cream place in Findlay.  Her schedule is busy this spring, so she might be given a call later this summer or fall, but she's hopeful that she'll work there because a couple of her friends work there as well.  She joined track and tried out and made the squad for next year's cheerleaders.  She is also going to try out on piano for jazz band.  She just got contacts and is excited about those.  She's taken good care of them so far.  She still continues to get good grades.  This summer she'll go to Europe for a week with a group from school.  They're going to London, Paris, and Rome.  In the fall, the marching band is going to Disney, so that's another thing she's excited about.  She's really a good kid and I'm glad that she's comfortable enough with me that she still thinks I'm cool and talks to me.  Her sense of humor is top notch and she's growing into a wonderful young lady. 

Ryan:
He'll turn 14 in June.  Last year he grew about 8 inches and his voice dropped so much that he sounds like Bon.  I think I still have an inch on him, but I bet by the end of the summer he'll outgrow me.  He went with the 8th grade to Washington DC the second week in April and was able to help lay the wreath for the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.  Out of his class, only 4 were chosen and they were chosen by the essays they had written.  Reagan was able to help last year, so we told Ty he has big shoes to fill.  ;)  His wrestling season ended really well.  He ended up first in his weight class in the BVC.  He really enjoys wrestling and it's a lot of fun to watch him too!  He's doing track this spring and is on a spring league for baseball.  He'll also do summer league baseball and then after that it'll start right back into football.  Man, I'll be excited when he can take himself to and from practices! He's a smart guy too and it gets him into trouble a little bit here at home sometimes with our wifi rules.  But all in all, he's a good kid.  Has a heart of gold and hides his sensitive side.  I see that he jumps in to help younger kids (his brothers included) and he's nice to others.  One of his best friend's mom is the youth pastor at a church in McComb and Ryan has been going to their youth group on Sunday nights.  He's planning on going to a youth retreat in June or July with their group also, so I'm glad he's choosing good friends. 

Ty:
He's 11 now and sometimes we forget how young he is.  We've noticed just in these last few months that he's matured some and is less likely to argue and complain about things.  He still dawdles when I ask him to do things, but I think that's common.  ;)  He is so outgoing that I don't think he knows a stranger.  Isn't it a saying something about "There are no strangers, just friends you haven't met yet"?  That should be his motto.  His teachers say he brings life to the classroom, although sometimes he has to tone it down a little, but he's funny and smart and quick witted!  He tried out for jr high cheerleading and made the squad!  I was so proud of him for stepping outside his comfort zone! He tried baseball last year and realized that he doesn't like it, so we kept trying to find something he likes to do.  This year in 6th grade, they started band, so he's been learning trombone on my old one.  He sounds pretty good and according to him, he's the best one in the 6th grade.  I'm not sure how accurate that is, but Ty can be a good story-teller.  He recently broke his finger by colliding with another kid, but he's healing okay.  He's waiting for a growth spurt and sometimes he'll clear his throat after talking and claim his voice squeaked.  (it doesn't matter if it actually did or not...again...great story-telling)  He is our bare minimum guy though.  His grades aren't high like R & R's, but it's only because he does what he has to and that's good enough for him.  He's smart though, just doesn't see the need to do extra.  :)

Evan:
He turned 8 in January and has a couple of countdowns already set.  He wants to dye his hair when he's 12 and in 10 years he'll be an adult.  I'm not sure if he throws that second one in there to make me feel old or what, but it works! He is in 2nd grade and it's getting to the time of year when I think they must start reviewing things and he gets bored because he's not learning.  His reading level is actually into the 3rd grade level, but his teacher can only put him down for the highest 2nd grade level.  And here they still do S and U for their grades, so he get's good S's.  He's also got a quick sense of humor and his teacher has commented that she'll try to pull one over on him and he's on to her too fast.  :)  He is doing baseball again this spring, but really wishes they would do spring soccer here instead. 

Bon:
He started in March working out a couple days a week.  I can tell a difference in his appearance and I'm glad that he's taking the time for himself.  His travel for work wanes and ebbs.  Sometimes he'll be home all week, gone just one night/day, or sometimes a few days/nights at a time.  The spring has been a wet/snowy/cold one, so he hasn't gotten out to the woods as much as he would've liked, but it's starting to act like spring finally, so I'm sure he'll be out there in no time. 

Me:
I'll be honest and say that moving here has been hard.  I feel like I'm just stuck.  These long winters suck and they're hard.  I'm pretty lonely.  I have been trying to become more involved with school things with the kids, so that gives me things to do and interactions with people. I do work one day a week at a shop in Grand Rapids and that has been fun to get out of the house and feel like I contribute in some way other than running kids around.  I know I have this false sense of "I'll be happier when...", so I try not to rely on the when and just try to be happy now.  It will get better, it always does.  But for now, I smile and push through. 

Overall:
We are all doing well.  We enjoy spending time together and we push each other to be better people.  We are doing the best we can as parents and I think we're doing a darn good job.  We're trying to teach our kids to be honest, respectful, to treat others kindly and without judgment, and we love our children so much.  Bon and I have been closer than we ever have before and I value him tremendously. 

And here are my final thoughts.  Our path has changed a lot in this last year.  We get reminded every so often that it's not the right path according to others, but we have decided it's the one we want to take.  We are happy.  We are closer as a family and more in tune with each other than we were before.  We didn't take our path because of laziness.  We didn't take it to rebel.  We know many don't understand and think we're on a fast path to nowhere.  But nevertheless, we are on it.  And just because our path is different, it doesn't mean we're lost.  And that's the hardest part; knowing other people don't believe that either.   In the end, we just want to be loved as much as we love.  Without strings.  Without guidelines. Without condition.