Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Emotions, emotions everywhere

These baby blues suck. Really. I mean, how many times can I cry at the drop of a hat or cry for 20 minutes straight with thoughts of "how is my daughter going to handle hearing that her best friend is moving all the way across country and will probably never see her again?" And what kind of mother am I for not preparing her earlier? Any decent mom would give her daughter warning and ample time for grieving or whatever, but no, not me. I'm horrible!! Or at least I feel that way right now. How long will these feelings of overwhelming guilt consume me? How long will it take me to stop crying? lol And to add to this, I feel so disconnected with my husband right now. I love him to pieces and I know he loves me, but I don't think he's shown me any sort of affection since the baby's been here. I mean, sure, he bought me pizza because I wanted some, or he let me eat his ice cream, but c'mon. I want him to hug me, pat me on the back, tell me he loves me, give me a kiss....anything. I don't know that I've done anything like that to him, but I feel like he doesn't want me to. I dunno. I'm just bawling and whining. I guess it doesn't help that I'm listening to Josh Groban's Closer album. He sings so passionately, even on the songs that are in a foreign language.

Alright. I'm going to try and buck it up now. Kudos for you if you made it to the end without rolling your eyes and mentally telling me to "get a grip". :)

4 comments:

Heather said...

((hugs)) Becky. I went/am going through the same thing w/ emotions. I'm just now starting to come out the other side.
I don't think you've handled R's friend moving badly at all. IMO it is good that you didn't mention it earlier--that just would have given her time to dwell on the negative. She'll handle it well Im sure.

Vlyb said...

Big ole HUGS! Isn't it just irritating how your emotions and feelings play such weird tricks on you?? I hate baby blues!
Hang in there and hopefully you'll find your footing very soon. You aren't a bad mom either...telling her sooner would have allowed her the chance to just go through it twice. This way they had fun RIGHT up until the end, and not worry the whole time about when it was gonna be over.

The Constant Gardener said...

Sometimes men need a big reminder! He sees you very busy and maybe he thinks he's doing you a favor by leaving you alone for a little bit. Tell him you need him and you miss him!

emlouisa said...

Hang in there Becky! I HATE the emotional rollercoaster thing. It makes you feel so wacko and out of control! But your feelings are valid so talk to dh and tell him what you need!

HOpe you are doing well now!