Monday, May 05, 2008
A great loss
Coming home from the hospital without our baby has honestly been one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. I've really been trying to keep it together. Put on my happy face and come to terms with the reality of the situation. But it really sucks. My kids really don't know anything is different with me. But I can feel a deep sadness that is all-consuming right now. I cry at night after they are in bed so that my tears won't scare them. There is an emptiness that my arms can feel. I know I have many that I could talk to, but right now I'm still not ready. I don't know what feeling ready will be like. I know that Bon is sad too and that breaks my heart into more pieces. They say the first week is the hardest. When the first week is over, I'll have to see if that's true or not.