Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Well, it's official

Our house is on the market. And I am so not ready. Our realtor took a picture of the outside of our house and is coming back next week to take inside shots. So in the meantime, I need to really light a fire under me and de-clutter this place.

This move is really bittersweet for me. I have made more friends in these three years than I have since high school. I am slow to make friends because I'm kinda quirky, smart-alecky, sarcastic, weird and I don't want to scare people away right off the bat. So I tend to hide my true self for a while until they know me better. I'm weirder the longer you know me. ;) I am going to be so sad leaving here. And sadly it's not because I'll be moving away from my family. (Except for my in-laws...I will miss them the most!!) It's because I'll be leaving some great friends. *sniff*

Today was my 6-week checkup that was really 8 weeks. I have a great doctor and I'll be sad to leave him too. lol Physically I'm all healed. I'm doing good. Emotionally, not so good. I feel like I have constant PMS. One minute I'm yelling at my kids for something stupid and the next I'm in tears because I feel so bad for yelling. My emotions are all over the place. And I go through periods of total "I'm so over this greiving process" back into depression of not carrying/holding/rearing this baby. I think about how far along I would be and the movements of what a baby inside feels like. The kicking and hicupping. And it sucks.

So I was prescribed some anti-depressants. The pharmacy closed tonight before I could pick them up, but I am really hoping for some help from them. My doctor told me that I'm supposed to be depressed right now. But if this is interfereing with daily tasks and thoughts, then the medication will help. I was also given a pamplet about PPD. An older nurse, who I think answers the phone when you call the nurse for questions, brought it to me and told me that some of the things in there relate to me, but not all of them, because I don't have the baby at home. Wow. Thanks for that reminder. No wonder you answer the phone and don't deal face to face with the patients. Yikes. Was also given a card for a counselor and support group. I don't know how I feel about calling either of those places yet. It seems like a good idea, but it might be too fresh for me still. I don't know.

Anyway. That's a little update here.

My almost two-year-old can say "soda". Is that sad or what?! lol Except he says it like "sow-a". And he calls Ryan and Reagan by name. But Reagan is usually still Sissy, which is what we all call her. He will now say "one" when asked how old he is and hold up one finger. But then if you ask him how old he's going to be next, he'll say "sree" and hold up his hand with all his fingers up, but kinda tilty. lol It's way cute.

Oh, I almost forgot! My bff Kendra had her baby this past Friday! Olivia Ann was born at 5:48 pm on June 27, 2008. She is the cutest little thing! She's tiny too! 6 lbs. 13.9 oz. Congrats Kendra and Jed!!


The Millhouse Family said...

Oh fun... house on the market!! ;) Well, I was mortified (probably already told you this) but when we were selling one of our houses - Emma left her dirty panties and pjs on the floor and I didn't realize it. There was a showing and when I went through the house when they had left I saw what Emma had left. I ALMOST DIED. Needless to say, that family bought the house. As for the depression - I am sure its been rough. I can understand the hormonal mess. I to struggled with PPD due to my hormonal imbalances. It was a very dark time and I had to constantly fight off the negative feelings. It was too much after years of dealing with it. (Long story... email if you want details. LOL) Little man... that is cute. Trent is just now about to do "K" sounds and we're working on his "ar" sounds. It's funny to hear all the funny ways they say words.
As for Kendra!! WOW!! I didn't realize she was expecting!! How awesome. Does she have a blog?

Michelle from the Baby Board said...

Becky - sorry about the house - selling is overwhelming enough without having to leave awesome friends. I hope you'll find a good community around you in the new place.

Also sorry about the depression. I've been thinking about you a lot. Completely awful of that nurse to say that do you. Duh - really? No baby at the house? Ugh. I hope the medication helps some, I'm glad you're seeking help and figuring things out. So good for you and your family.

You're in my thoughts lots!