Say what?

So if you have no knowledge of the characters of Mario Party, this post will be as confusing to you as it was to me. The following conversation happened yesterday between Ryan and I. It left me confused and laughing because I had no idea what was going on.

Ryan: Hey Mom, did you know that King Boo is Boo's dad?

Me: Really? Who is King Boo?

Ryan: Boo's dad.

Me: (laughing) Okay, who is Boo? (thinking the little girl from Monsters, Inc., but
knowing that's not what he's talking about)

Ryan: (gives me a look like...how could I not know who Boo is and he even huffs a little and sticks his hand out like he's frustrated with me)

Me: (laughing) I don't know who Boo is. Who is Boo?

Ryan: King Boo's son.

I burst out laughing because this conversation is just hilarious. I retold it to Bon when he got home and he kind of chuckled and asked Ryan who King Boo and Boo were and then realized that they were characters on the Mario Party game that our neighbor girl brought over to play on the Wii.


Another funny thing that happened with Ryan was last night at dinner. I had marinated some chicken and Bon grilled it and we were all at the table eating and Ryan had three helpings of chicken. He said about 4 times "This chicken is SO good!" After he finished eating, I was finishing up while Bon cleared the table. Ryan was still in the room with me, so I said "mmmmm.....this chicken is SO good!" Ryan leans over to me and in a dramatic whisper says " I know!" lol It was so funny.

I just have to post good things about Ryan so that on bad days with him I can read these and realize I really do love him and want to keep him!

Censoring himself

Earlier this week, I was told that Ty was laying in bed with no diaper and no pants on. He was just "playing" whatever version of his own game he had in his head and it seems I wasn't too concerned, because I forgot about him for a little while. I had seen Reagan and Ryan running around with two of our neighbor kids upstairs, but then, like an "aha" moment, I thought..."where's Ty?"

Well, he was indeed laying in bed with obviously nothing on. He had strategically placed his pillow and was off in dreamland.

Reagan's um..er...compliment?

Today I was sorting laundry in my bathroom when Reagan came in and said that the house was stinky.

Me: What does it smell like?
Reagan: It smells like you do when you first get out of bed in the morning.
Me: thinking...uh...thanks??

We walk out of the bedroom and I smell "the stink" too and say "Reagan, it smells like Ty went poop" while thinking...do I really smell this bad when I get out of bed?? lol

Cousin withdrawal?

My kids have been acting nuts the past two days. Whining, tattling, crying, fit throwing, you name it. They are doing it. And I'm about to strangle them.

I believe they are going through cousin withdrawal. For the last two weeks, they had cousins at their disposal to play with, watch tv with and to just hang around with. Now that we are back home, they seem to be annoyed with each other constantly. They are bickering like an old married couple and screaming like newlyweds. It's driving me to the looney bin! I'm not sure how to help them through this process. Maybe a good noodle flogging??

In other news, Monday I had a regular OB appt. We heard the baby's heartbeat at a fast 150. My next appt is scheduled for the 10th of August. That morning I have an ultrasound to "check growth" as my sister-in-law Shimber would say, since she doesn't find out the gender until delivery. But really the ultrasound is to find out gender. :) I think Bon and I want a girl, you know that Reagan wants a girl and in a sweet moment (seriously...it lasted only a moment) Ryan said he was hoping for a girl so that Reagan would have a sister. But we'll take a boy too. :)

Yesterday was Ty's third birthday. We got him a bike and helmet. He was super excited.

Sunday Ryan lost his first tooth. He said he pulled it out because it was so loose. The tooth fairy gave him a dollar in quarters.

Then last night Ryan and Ty were too scared to go to sleep because they were afraid the tooth fairy would come in and take their teeth. Bon told them that the tooth fairy only took teeth that were under pillows, so as long as they kept their heads on top of their pillows, there was nothing to be afraid of. lol I don't know how they slept after that comforting news.

Oh the things we think of just so we can get our kids to go to bed.....

Some people are so demanding

Hinting around that I don't post on here enough. Sheesh. ;)

Well, I'm sure that all of you loyal readers know by now that we are expecting again. Due date of January 4th. I'm excited and still battling nausea every day. I was sicker (is that a word?) toward the first of June and had to get an IV. But since then I have not thrown up. *knock on wood* Just trying to keep up on water intake is hard though, so I have days where I'm not feeling up to par. And lack of sleep makes me feel sick. Bon told me that should be a no brainer. :) Anyway...had my first check-up on Tuesday and they did a quick ultrasound and everything looked good! I hope it continues to grow and be healthy.

Last weekend we went camping with some friends of ours. We had a blast, even though the temps were in the 90's. We got a sweet campsite because our friend's dad works for the park, so we were in a secluded area. Had it all to ourselves and it was great! The kids did really well. It was Reagan and Ty's first time camping and they had a good time.

Ty had a tick bite him while we were there. We got the body off but the head didn't come out until Wednesday. And Wednesday was when he woke up with what I thought were hives. So I was a little concerned, but all the google images of tick rashes looked different, so I just gave him Claritin and rubbed hydrocortisone cream on him. Thursday he woke up with more of a rash and by late morning, his hands and feet were swollen. That had me very concerned, so I made an appointment. Turns out, he developed an allergy to penicillan, which he had been taking since the Monday before for an ear infection. So his rash is now all over his body and itches like crazy. He's still swollen and tired. After I'm done posting here, I'll give him an oatmeal bath.

Tomorrow morning we fly out to Utah! The kids are so excited for a plane ride and to see their cousins! I'm not even close to being all packed and ready, so I need to hustle. lol The difference from when we were first married to now is amazing to me. When we were getting ready to go on a trip when first married, I would have been packed by Wednesday, impatiently waiting for our departure. Now I'm lucky if I get done all I want to. :)

So off I go to grind some oatmeal for a bath. I really hope it works for him!

happy now Shaynee?? ;)

quick update.

Got a new computer. I'm in love with it.

Reagan is counting down until school's out. June 9th can't be here fast enough.

Ryan turns 5 on the 4th of June. I was mean and told him he wasn't getting a party. He was sad. lol Maybe he'll have one.

Ty is sleeping in a big boy bed. But is refusing to go potty on the big boy potty. So that's gross. He also pee'd on our bed last week after a bath. Bon was NOT happy, and neither was Ty after that swat on the bare bum. :(

I'm off to the store to grab some milk and other essentials. It's really hot down here and I wish our neighborhood had the pool built. We're having issues with them cutting the grass on the empty lots, so we definitely know a pool is not happening this year. Oh well...that's what friends are for. :)

*twitch twitch*

Bon's been gone for 3 days so far and I already have a twitch. It could be from Ty's whining/fit throwing that he's developed recently. Or it could be from Ryan's endless questions. Either one is bound to do it I suppose.

I wasn't going to, but now that you said it...I will.

Today I've felt progressively grumpier with the kids. Impatient, rude to them, to the point where I just needed to be away from them. Bon was sitting outside and told me to join him. We sat on the steps of our deck and looked into the sky and the trees. Commented on how nice it was, how the weather was perfect right then. Then, Bon being silly said "The sky is pretty. You're pretty." lol Then because I felt emotional right then, he looked over at me and asked if I was going to cry. "No!" I chuckled, making myself choke down the tears that hadn't reached my eyes yet. Then he asked if I was going to blog about it. lol Well, I wasn't, but now I am.

Truth is, it's a hard week for me. A year has passed so quickly and I'm working through my grief still. The raw emotion of it is still there. I feel like I should be able to move on from this. What other trials am I going to have to endure? How does Heavenly Father know that I can handle this when I already feel broken? Is there something I haven't learned yet?

Friday will be one year. Reagan has been wanting to wear my necklace to school. I told her that I needed to wear it right now because it's helping me this week. She asked me when Logan's birthday was. Soon, I told her. The next night she asked me again. I told her it was on Friday. How did she know? I love that girl so much.

Anyway. I need to go to bed. I am watching my friends girls in the morning and so I won't be able to sneak a nap in while the boys watch Curious George and Sid the Science Kid. :)

The big 3-0

I'm going to be 30 tomorrow. Holy cow. How did I get to be 30? It seems like just a few years ago Bon and I got married and then I blinked and now I'll be 30?? I remember when that seemed so old! Just like when living in the 2000's seemed soooo far away. But yet, we are 9 years into the 2000's and I'm not that old. lol I feel old some days, but I just remind myself that I'm 6 years younger than my sister. ;)

Nothing big to report. Reagan goes on a field trip tomorrow. She was in tears tonight trying to pick out clothes. I wanted her in shorts, she wanted a skirt. We finally settled on a skirt with the shorts built in. I told her that I was sorry I was snappy, but she was frustrating me. Her response?? "well...you're frustrating ME!" lol Yeah, I guess I was. too cute. I cut her hair last Sunday. She's been begging to have it cut short into a bob for a while. So since the chunk of hair that she cut when a toy got stuck in it was finally longer (you know...not at mid-ear length, but below her ear) I cut it. She looks really cute and she loves it.

We get to register Ryan this week for kindergarten! It'll surely be different here next year. I can't imagine both of them gone. I'm hoping that we can request teachers, cause I'd request the same one that Reagan has. Friday after school I took the kids to the park and I tried teaching Ryan and Reagan how to ride without training wheels. Ryan did really good and I was so sad I forgot my camera! But I didn't have much patience with Reagan. She was too interested in the world around her. People playing, cars driving by. Plus she would be leaning to one side and couldn't figure out how to correct her balance even though I was calmly and patiently trying to explain it to her. But man, my back was killing me by the end, from leaning over holding on to their seats while running behind them. I'll have to remember my camera next time.

Our neighbors have a dog. It's been quite the shaggy dog since they've lived here. But on Friday, they got her groomed and yesterday we saw "Pepper" after her cut and it's super short and cute. Today before church, we cut Ty's hair. It's usually an ordeal with lots of screaming and grabbing going on, but today he was good. But when our neighbor stopped by, he opened the door and said "I got my hair cut, just like Pepper!" It was totally cute.

Bon has some more traveling lined up. I haven't really been doing anything too newsworthy. Just trying to keep the house clean/tidy and my goal is to put away the laundry no more than two days after it's been folded. So far so good! lol Pretty lame news! :)

I know, I know!

It's been ages since I updated the blog. Does everyone really wonder what's going on in the mind of me? Cause sometimes it's a tad crazy! :)

The kids are doing great! Reagan lost her third tooth this morning. It's been super loose for a couple of weeks now and for about a week she would go to bed and tell me that in the morning her tooth would come out. And finally this morning, she pushed on it with her tongue and said "look how loose it is!" and it was like at a 90 degree angle. I told her to just pull it and she pushed on it again with her tongue and out it popped. We put it in a baggie and she's awaiting the tooth fairy to visit tonight.

Her parent teacher conferences were a few weeks ago. She's doing really well and gets along with everyone. Her teacher told me that right now their reading level should be at a 1/2 and Reagan's is at an 11/12. So she's basically reading at the level of what a first grader should be reading in the middle of their year. She got a card in the mail and she read all of it except for two words. I just can't believe how grown up she is.

Ryan is great too. He can still be my button pusher, but sometimes I look at him and my heart just melts with how much love I feel for him. In our ward, there is a Spanish "section" (it's not a branch, but they do have their own sacrament meeting, but their kids join our primary). In Ryan's class, there is a kid named Diego. I don't think Diego knows much English. And from what I've picked up from Ryan, I think that Ryan thinks Diego is "THE" Diego...as in Dora's cousin. Ryan will say stuff like "Diego was in my class today! He was wearing his backpack, but he had on normal church clothes." Or "Diego was wearing a cool watch, but it didn't have any animal stuff on it." It cracks me up!

Ty is still my snuggle muffin. He is talking up a storm and usually is volume is set at LOUD! And he gets mad when he's shushed. "NO! I'm tryin to tell you somethin!" We are slowly potty training him. He'll wake up dry every other day or so and so I try to get him to pee on the potty. But sometimes he wants nothing of it. I don't want to force it, so it's no big deal. Today he said something about something flying out of his butt and I cracked up. So of course he and Ryan start making up stuff to say using the word butt and try to make it funny so that I'll laugh agian. They are boys for sure!

Before Easter the kids were talking about Jesus dying on the cross and Ryan pipes in and says something about when Jesus's head was cut off. I wondered where they heard that from and they told me that the neighbor girl had told them that. I quickly informed them that his head was not cut off. Then Ryan said that Jesus had nails all over his body. Again..from the neighbor girl. So we had a short little Easter lesson all while riding home from the store. They were asking good questions too, like about the crown of thorns and why he wore it. It's times like that where I feel like I'm doing an adequate job of teaching my children the gospel. I may not understand it all myself, but if I can share and teach the basics, then that's what I can do.

Bon has been busy with work. He was gone for a couple of weeks at the end of March. He took off last Thursday and had Good Friday off work and it was so nice to have him here for four days. We worked on building our square foot gardens and doing stuff around the house. He installed some floresent lighting in the garage too, that is really brightened up our mess. ;)

I've been doing pretty okay. I've become good friends with one of my neighbors. She moved here from MI and didn't know anyone here and our kids are great friends. We are often at each others houses. We had them over for Easter dinner. I helped her build a swingset in their backyard. She's someone that I've felt comfortable with from the beginning, which is hard for me to do. I was like that with my best friend Kendra and I'm glad that I have found someone here that I can talk to and get to know.

I've started therapy and go once every two weeks. I'm learning new ways to think about situations and I'm trying new ways to be myself. I have to teach myself how to get along with myself, basically. My inner critic and the part of me that we have labled "reserved" aren't very nice to me and aren't who I really am, so I am trying to change myself to find myself. My thoughts have been flooded lately with the upcoming anniversary of losing Logan. My next appt with my therapist is May 1, the day that he was birthed, and my assignment is to bring a couple of helium balloons in baby colors to the session. I'm really dreading that whole week. This loss has really been hard on me and I've been good to cover it up. But that is also something I need to change. I don't need to cover my grieving because that is who I am right now.

I've also been trying to lose weight. I joined a gym with a couple of freinds and we go two or three times a week. (I couldn't go when bon was out of town, so I haven't been as much) I worked hard this week on my body and I am so sore! The muscles that you use for sneezing and coughing are aching! My arms are sore. But I feel like I notice a change. And that's good for me to make me keep going. I've lost 4 pounds too, by watching what I eat and using Sparkpeople.com. I have about 30 more that I'd like to lose, but we'll see once summer comes around what I'll be doing then. I've just never been this heavy (except when pregnant, so that doesn't count) and I don't like how I look or feel.

So there's your blog update folks. Now that it took an hour to type out, I better hit the sack!

Another edition of the things kids say

Last week, the kids were begging me to eat candy. Over and over and over. I was sick of them asking and tired of them whining and crying when I said no. Ryan asked me one more time and I finally said "go! Go eat candy til your heart's content!" He runs out of the room and says "Sissy! Sissy! Mom said we could eat candy till our heart was content!!" Reagan says "Ooohh!!! (pause) What does 'content' mean?" Ryan said "I don't know, but we get to eat candy!!"

Ah, springtime.

This weather is good for my soul. Sitting outside in the sun, reading a book. Heaven on earth.

We are planning out our garden. Tomatoes, zucchini, squash, lettuce, and some other stuff. I want to plant flowers in my front beds too. I thought impatiens would work well, since they don't get any or much sun. Poppy's look to be a popular flower down here too. I need to plant some bulbs too, but I guess I need to wait until fall.

The boys and I went to the county's main library yesterday. Holy normal size library! I was in heaven. This town's little branch is super-dooper tiny and it's amazing the variety of books the normal sized library has....I'm just not used to it! I just might make the 20 minute trek there every week....

So hold me accountable, but I want to lose 5-10 pounds this month. I've been creeping up the scales and am 20 pounds heavier than I normally weigh. And once I get down to what I normally weigh, I'd still like to lose about 15 from that. So I'm trying to eat better foods and less of it. Oh, and moving more...you know. That blasted thing they call exercise. I hate sweating and feeling hot, so I struggle with that.

An update

The world stopped down here in NC Sunday night into Monday. We got maybe 4-5 inches of snow and seriously...the world stopped. No one here is used to driving in snow, nor are the city's equipped with snow plows and salt trucks, etc. So school was cancelled on Monday and Tuesday and there was a 2-hour delay on Wednesday. There are still spots of snow on the ground, especially in places where the sun hasn't melted it. We also had a couple of power outages that lasted mere seconds. We heard a big crash on Sunday night and thought a car had crashed. Later on Monday we discovered that two trees had fallen on the other side of our property line (so away from us and our neighbor) and there is currently another tree that is leaning waaaaay over like something is pulling the top down. It's just a matter of time until that one breaks as well.

Saturday night we went to family in our church's house. We played games and we actually got Bon to play Guitar Hero, which amazingly he was good at! lol The kids had fun too. Unfortunately that night, Ty threw up all over his bed and himself. It's been a long week, but I think he's all better now. Hasn't thrown up since Tuesday.

Speaking of Tuesday, the older ones started swim lessons. They will continue them every Tuesday and Thursday for the month of March. Ty is also in a parent/child class on Saturdays for two months. Bon's going to them with him.

And an update on me. I started going to therapy. My first session was a couple of weeks ago. It went very well and we addressed a lot if things. I go back this coming Monday. When I left her office the last time, she told me I needed to work on lowering my expectation levels for myself. Right now they are too high and that's adding to my stress level, which is already high. And as I've typed it out or tell someone that I'm to lower my expectations, it sounds like horrible advice, but it really makes sense to me.

So that's where this Carter family is at right now.

Ryan

Ryan is 4 and a boy. And I've been told that boys do this, but I'm embarrassed and afraid that he'll become addicted or something. And I'm sure some of you moms know what I'm referencing without even saying what he does.

So I've threatened that it will fall off. He doesn't believe me because, well...okay it won't fall off, but you think it would scare him enough that he wouldn't continually play with it. And it doesn't help that he has a patch of dry skin right above it where his band goes on his underwear. I've put lotion on it, but he's scratching that all the time too, which he gets nagged for because it's so close to the other offense.

I decided to try a different kind of underwear. One that didn't have the scratchy elastic band, but more of a "comfort band". So we got some of these.


Once we got home, I told him to go into the bathroom to put a pair on. A few minutes later I hear "MOM! You got me panties!!" in an angry sort of voice.

Turns out, there's no flap or opening in the front like a normal pair of boy's underwear, which is odd. But he doesn't ever use the flap, so it's fine that they don't.

Anyway. I think he's been scratching less. And he looks grown up wearing them instead of Spiderman and Lighting McQueen. ;)

But with the touching thing....I've been tempted to take Gentian Violet and dab some on when he's sleeping. I might scar him for life though, if he wakes up with it purple. What do you think??

New colors

About a month after Reagan started kindergarten, we found out there is a whole other blue that we didn't know of. Carolina Blue.





And just recently we learned of an even different color blue. Duke Blue.





Now nevermind that they are two different sports and leagues. That's not important. What's important is that we make sure she gets the Carolina Blue cup/plate to eat her meals on.

Today in church

if you happened to be sitting near our family, you would have heard this come from our two year old's mouth after seeing a slender black man.....

"is that Arock Obama?"

Bon's eyes got huge, as did mine, and then we bust up laughing. He asked me where he'd heard that from. Uh, tv, Reagan, Ryan, and have I mentioned on here that Reagan occasionally likes to watch Newshour with Jim Lehrer? lol So yeah. He's heard of our nation's president before.

Searching for myself

I've been doing some soul searching lately. Some digging down deep, trying to figure out who I am, what my purpose is, trying to find happiness or a sense of normalcy. I've been trying to find out why I feel the way I do and how I can get it to stop. I've always considered myself a strong person. Not only physically, but mentally. I've had one hell of a life. But I'm coming to my breaking point. I am struggling to hold on to me. My strength is running out and I'm finding it hard to hang on anymore.

2008 was such a hard year for me. From mid-January until late April, I was sick. Like barely functioning sick. That's just what pregnancy does to me. And once I started to feel better I learned that the baby died. What a shock. I grieve. And grieve some more.

And then I start to focus on selling our house. What a nightmare that was. It sold so quickly. It came as a shock to me. I wasn't ready to move. To say goodbye to my friends and in-laws. And then we found a house here in NC and we moved.

We moved in the week I was supposed to be having a baby. If you saw me that week, you wouldn't have known that my heart was heavy or that it was on my mind. But it was all I could think about. I was consumed.

And I am still consumed. I am depressed. I am jealous. I think about all the loved ones I have lost and the memory of them is still fresh in my mind. I cannot shake this heaviness that is in my heart and soul. I can feel happiness, but it only lasts a short while. And then my head is filled again with cloudiness.

I recently read this book. http://www.amazon.com/Reaching-Hope-Perspective-Recovering-Depression/dp/157345849X It is wonderful and I will be reading it again. I felt peace and understanding while reading it.

So for now I will be working on me. I will press forward and do all I can to help myself get to feeling normal and comfortable. I will continue to develop friendships here. I will try not to feel so self-conscious or feel like I'm losing my grip. And any extra thoughts or prayers on my behalf would be great.

Thank you for being my friends. My family. For being there if I needed you. I can only hope I can return the favor.

9 bottles of water

That is what the kids decided to open and pour out on our driveway today...all at the encouragement of our next door neighbor girl. She comes up with some hair-brained ideas and my kids lose all sorts of common sense and self-control and they do what she says! It's ridiculous! The other day when she was over, I was upstairs sewing my curtains and they were downstairs. I came down and they had play-doh all over the living room/dining room, after I told them not to. And they had also made a drink consisting of orange juice, Bon's dairy free milk, juice from a capri sun and who knows what else. Bon said I should've made them drink it all, but I didn't want to clean up any puke. But because they mixed up that drink, there was a sticky mess all over my dining table and chairs and the floor. I was so mad. I had to mop and wipe it all down. After she had gone home, I learned that she made them (and by "made them" I mean "told them") to eat some play doh. So they did! We've been trying to tell them that they do not need to listen to her and to use their common sense! She's only 7, so it's not like she has that much either, but c'mon! She's a really nice girl and her parents are great too. I guess I'll just have to hang around better/more when they play together. *sigh*

When they are young

Do you ever look at your children and wonder when they were taught to demand things instead of asking politely?

Then sit back and let me explain something to you.

I've recently found the source of where they are being taught this behavior.




That's right. Dora and Diego. They are working together to corrupt the minds of our children. They teach that when you ask for something in a not so nice way, you get results.

And they also teach the pimp method. Dora wants her backpack? Well Dora gets her backpack. Oh, but not by asking for it nicely herself. She makes YOU ask for it. And it's not really even asking. It's like demanding. "What do we need?" "Backpack!" "What?" "Backpack!" "louder!" "BACK-PACK!" And voila. There's her backpack.

Next she'll be asking your kids to choose a gang color and consider her as the leader.

And Diego is no better. Heck. He yells at monkeys for misbehaving. I haven't been around too many monkeys, but I bet they are all ornery. And I bet they are pissed they are called the Bo Bo Brothers. I know I wouldn't be to happy about that.

So the next time you hear your kid screaming "BACK PACK!!" at the tv, maybe it's time to turn it to....Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.

I know, you thought I was going to say off. I'm not *that* crazy! :)

Oh, this is bad

You know your two-year old has seen too much Mamma Mia when they are sitting by their sister and as she reads titles of books, she pauses and the said two-year old says "dot dot dot?"