We are an example of normal

We are taking the marriage and family relations course during the Sunday school hour at our church. And well, our teachers are a nice couple, but I am having a really hard time understanding why they are teaching this class. I commented to Bon tonight that it seems we have been getting along better. Not that we were doing poorly before, but we are having a good time and laughing a lot. He said it was because we were in this class....then we both started laughing. Why? Because if you saw the people in this class, you would see that we are the example of normal. And that's kind of scary, especially if you know me. ;)

3 down, 2 to go...

Last weekend Ryan had it. Friday I had it. Friday night Reagan had it. Who's left? Daddy and Ty. That's right folks, Pukefest '07 has come to our home and with the help of Lysol and Clorox, I'm hoping it leaves and avoids contaminating the 2 remaining contestants, um, I mean family members. Spring has finally sprung and I don't want to be stuck inside all day, armed with a bowl, waiting and listening for that gurgly cough. Makes me grumpy. And tired.

There isn't much to post about. OH! Reagan had her birthday and has been telling people that "My mommy says I'm gonna be 4 ALL WEEK!!!" I look at her and am amazed at how much she has grown. The baby chub is going away (maybe because of her pickiness at meal times), she is tall and lanky. And she is beautiful. And she has spunk. Almost daily she'll say something and I'll wonder where she learned/heard/saw that and it hits me that she is really absorbing the things in her environment. My husband said we need to teach her how to pick good friends, because she is such a follower. She loves being around other "big girls" and doing big girl things. She recently told the primary chorister, in front of the whole jr. primary, that "my mom says you don't do it right". Ack! Talk about total embarrassment!! *sigh* Luckily the chorister didn't think much of it, but now every time she starts saying "my mom says" I get a little short of breath and break out in a sweat. :)

I Can

Lei is always inspiring. She writes beautifully and it really makes me wish I had those sort of skills. But I don't. lol. It's midnight and I'm struggling to spell things right. I think I'm hitting backspace more than actual letters for words. Anyway. On to things I can do!

I can bake one heck of a chocolate chip cookie.
I can make milk.
I can sing songs with my children.
I can talk for hours with my best friend.
I can laugh.
I can daydream about organization.
I can play airplane with my kids and get a good leg workout.
I can pray.
I can sing.
I can choose to not be offended.
I can be silly.
I can love deeply.
I can miss greatly.
I can smile at strangers and make them smile back.
I can color with my kids.
I can be.

Happy things

My kids are all asleep at this very moment. Ahhh....peace.

My best friend had her ultrasound yesterday and I saw pictures today and it is so cute! I am so excited for them!

Reagan and Ryan are really good kids. Even though they have meltdowns and tantrums, they listen and mind me about 98% of the time.

I got a whole bunch of material from my mother-in-law. Don't know what I'll make with it, but I've got it!

I went shopping today with her also (my mother-in-law (mil, for short)) and it was fun. My fil (father-in-law) has been working from home a lot lately and it's driving her a little nuts. She was so excited when I called so she could get out of the house and not feel guilty.

I got my dh (dear husband) some new dress/work pants today at Penneys. I hope he like them.

I also got some new tarts to melt in my tart warmer. I love Yankee Candle. I got a new one, at least new to me, that smells divine. Cranberry and something else. mmm....I wish I could suck it in my nose and smell it all the time.

I have a really cute, happy baby. He's getting so big and if I hold him too long, my arms ache. He's a heavyweight. But cute. And smiley. And did I mention cute? ;)

We're supposed to be getting a new carseat shipped to us pdq. When we ordered it, it was backordered and so they said approx. 3 weeks. Tomorrow will be three weeks and I'm really hoping it comes! He's definately outgrown the weight on his infant seat. But not by much. He might be just at the limit.

I was telling my dh some of my gardening plans and he nodded the entire time, agreeing with it all. Hmmm...I wonder if it'll actually happen this year?

Um, that's all I can think of at the moment. My brain is starting to slow down. ;)

 

"She seems a little...."

My title is quoting something I said today, except I'm leaving out what it is that she seems. I don't want people to think too horribly of me. Nor do I want any hate mail or the CIA or something like that showing up on my front doorstep.

But do you ever feel like you should wear a sign that says "I often put my foot in my mouth!" I do. And man, do I. Sometimes I feel like if I'm not putting my foot in my mouth, then I'm saying something totally offensive to someone or saying something that makes me sound like a racist/prejudiced/you name it kinda person. Which I'm totally not. I've put my foot in my mouth a couple of times lately and I'm thinking that maybe I should really just keep my comments to myself. But hey, if you ask for them.... ;)

Sometimes they're up

And sometimes they're down. Just last week, I was having one where I was ready to hand over my mom badge, escape marriage-hood, dye my hair bleach blonde and drive off in the sunset over the edge of the cliff with my friends, Thelma and Louise. I was at my wits end and every bit of patience and lovingness had escaped my ever-lumpy body. I felt as though my medication wasn't working and the only emotion I could show was anger. It was destroying me to see my kids flinch in fear when I started yelling over something dumb, but I just couldn't control it. I wanted out. I needed it gone. Monday, which was the worst of the worst, was the turning point. I had asked my dh the previous week for a blessing. After a trying day, I finally got it and life didn't seem so dreary after that. Focus on the gospel and the happiness it brings. It brought me such comfort and I haven't been nearly as angry. I have found joy in simple things like dancing around the bedroom with my kids. I kind of like my kids a little bit more. ;) So moods. Sometimes they're up and sometimes they're down.

Longest month

I think January is the longest month. My husband claims that his business slows down in the winter, but he has been awfully busy this month. And I'm getting tired of it. He was overseas two weeks ago. Last week he had a guy up from the U.S. office and was "training" him. He was home every night, but when he has people in town, it's like he's not really here anyway. Then this week he's been in Michigan. He gets back tomorrow, but it'll probably be late after the kids are in bed (or on our floor which they claim they like better than their beds). It's exhausting for me when he's out of town. I can't sleep and then I'm up with the kids. Sometimes I can manage to get a nap in, but not all the time. My two-year-old has decided that I'm not an authority figure he needs to listen to. And my three-year-old asks off the wall questions all day long and talks non-stop. I think that's part of the "girl" thing. Today her question/comment was about why she couldn't feel Jesus if he was in her heart. She was pushing on her belly trying to feel Him. Oy vey.

Well, my kids are in destruction mode. My throat hurts from yelling at them while vacuuming. Don't ask...I was ready for bed when I woke up.

Things I got done today

• After much begging by my girl, we made spritz cookies this morning. My older two decorated them with colored sugar before baking and I think we made about a million.
  
• I cleaned the two full-baths today. I even had to re-scrub the floor in one because it smelled like dirty butt. It was gross. It didn't smell like dirty butt when I started cleaning the first time, but after washing it. Go figure!
  
• I picked up the laundry off my bedroom floor that has been there since oh...November! and *gasp* put. it. away!!! "No way!" you say. And to that I say "Yeah way!"
  
• And then I vacuumed said floor. Yeah. Go ahead. I know you want to do the whole Elaine from Seinfeld 'Get out!' complete with a push. I'll brace myself.
  
• I also washed the dishes.
  
• And made dinner.
  

So what that I didn't shower or even put a bra on today. I cleaned. Seriously folks, I could start a trend around here. And just to get some bonus points...today's dinner was the third (that's a 3 with an rd after it) dinner I've made this week....in a row. I know, I know. I'm such the homemaker....

I ain't no redneck

I read over my list this morning and realized that I sound like a total redneck, white-trash, trailer park, wife beater wearing momma. And I just wanted to let you know that I'm not. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I'm not. I'm fairly normal.

See, here's a picture of me (albeit bad) with my kiddos. I realize that my face looks huge and my glasses are glaring and my daughter has horrible red-eye and you can't even see my older son's eyes because he's smiling so nicely, but hey, you get what you get.

Things you may...or may not know about me

I've been lacking in my blog. I need witty. I need you to see me. I read other well-written, witty and charming blogs and I think to myself "I totally think like that! I could've written that if I weren't so not funny when I write!" So I decided to do a list of things about me that you may or may not know. I don't know how long it'll be, but it'll be.

1. I love laughing.
2. I love reading good books.
3. I love hearing my baby fart. It means he'll be less grouchy.
4. I'm not good at making my baby laugh.
5. I wish I was.
6. If I could be shorter or thinner, I'd choose shorter.
7. I have been craving ice cream. Chocolate to be precise.
8. I don't really have a favorite number. and it's annoying when people ask what it is, because really, who has a favorite number and why?? I just don't understand the whole favorite number craze...
9. I wish that I liked my sister better.
10. I hope she never finds my blog. lol
11. I share a middle name with my grandmother.
12. I am rarely full. I love, love, love to eat.
13. But I'm shy about it because I feel like too much of a pig because I could easily eat more than my husband.
14. Which is probably why I weigh 25 pounds more than him.
15. I'm not a huge fan of horses.
16. I love roller coasters.
17. I love to bake.
18. I wish I wasn't so lazy.
19. But I'm too lazy to do anything about it.
20. I usually feel inferior around people because I didn't go to college.
21. Call me crazy.
22. I usually only brush my teeth once a day. (eww, gross!)
23. But at least it's in the morning.
24. Now if anyone reads this and they know me they'll be checking out my teeth to see how nasty they are, and they'll be surprised because they aren't nasty. :)
25. And I'll post more later.

Finished....and messy

Living room













Kitchen from dining room











Dining room and kitchen from kitchen. We also were suprised with a new fridge from one of Bon's sisters. It's way nice and I love it. And her. :)
p.s. I hope this format is okay. I can't tell how it's going to post. :)


 

Par-tay!

Have I mentioned that I love this time of year? And did I mention that I'm extra excited because my kitchen/living room is done? I don't care that we don't have a stitch of furniture for our living room, I'm just happy that it's liveable now. *sigh*

So, today at church, I get this grand idea to have a cookie decorating party at our house on Friday. I casually mentioned this to Bon yesterday, and he suggested inviting a less-active family in our ward that has children around the same age as our older two. But the party I suggested to Bon was a gingerbread house making party, which would be harder and you wouldn't invite a lot of people to unless you had lots of space. I digress...anyway....today as I remind people about the mommy and me group at my house on Thursday, I also invite them to the cookie decorating party. Bon asked who all I invited. Um, the W family, the B's, the B's, the A's, the M's, the G's, the R's...I think that's it. lol And now I can think of 3 more families that weren't there that I wanted to invite. But it will be so much fun!! I can get games out and make punch and we'll decorate and eat cookies and visit and it'll be so much fun! Wanna come? :)

Today we had tithing settlement. As we sat there with our bishop, he told us how much he loved us and loved what we are doing, being active in the church and raising a family. He teared up while telling us and it was just neat to hear that coming from him. I thought for the longest time that he didn't even know who I was. lol Silly, I guess. He has a neat family and the more I get to know his wife, the more I realize how much of a super, super nice person she is. When our youngest was blessed, she wrote down the key things that my dh had said in his blessing. I thanked her and she told me that she wished that someone would've done that for her when her children were blessed, so she tries to do that for others. Aw. :) So sweet!

I'll go snap some pictures of my kitchen, mess and all. Just for you loyal readers. ;) lol

Christmas

I can't believe how fast Christmas has come this year. And the whole Christmas Eve on Sunday thing is throwing me off too. I am so excited for Christmas this year. Our kitchen is done and I can bake until I burst! I *LOVE* to bake! I love eating what I bake too! :) The kids are excited for Santa and the possibility of getting gifts. R-girl is asking for everything under the sun and then says "I hope Santa will bring me that!" with a hopeful tune. Now I just need to be a little more organized and actually get more things for gift-giving. We are having Christmas with my mom and dad this Saturday. Should be fun!

gotta go. My tummy's rumbling! :)

Some things I've learned

1. When you get motivated to rearrange/clean your bedroom, it won't get done in one day. Especially if you have kids. Plan on it taking a week or so.

2. Trying to take a relaxing bath while all three kids are awake is not relaxing at all. If you want it to be relaxing, make sure you have a lock on your door and make sure your door actually closes. Or try taking a bath on another level in the house, or a completely different house...

3. If you are trying to be sexy, let the whipped cream warm up first. Nothing says "I love you" like fresh from the fridge whipped cream on your *ahem* personal-sensitive-to-cold-areas.

This week is way busy for me. I don't even know if I'll be able to get it all done. But yet, it needs to be done, so I will try my darndest. As Tigger says "TTFN! Ta Ta for now!"

Sweet! I've been tagged!

I feel so popular! lol Thanks, Olivia!

What do you like most about where you live?
I like that we have 4 seasons and that this town (and especially the ward (church congregation) that I'm in now has a very small town feel to it. It's like everyone grew up here and/or has family that's here. I didn't like the smallness of it when we first moved in, but now it's comforting.

Is there anything strange about where you live?
I can't think of anything too odd. Oh, except for the fact that even though I'm only 15 minutes south of another "big" city, people make it seem like it's reeeaaaalllly far away. Like "oh, I've never really been there. It's so far away." huh? oookay freak. lol

What is one of your all time favorite music albums and why?
Here's an off the wall one. EMF-Schubert Dip. I have this on cassette tape and have had it for 10 years. I would love to get it on cd. Whenever I play it, I just love to sing along and dance around like an idiot. It's a good "I'm really mad and need to clean the whole house ceiling to floor" music too.

Did you have a passion for something as a kid that you still have now? (if not, what is one of your passions now?)
I wish I could say that I have something I'm passionate about. I really like to do things, but there really isn't anything I'm passionate about. I'm trying to change that about myself. I do like to read and sew and bake. What incredibly boring things to do, but it's the truth. I loved to read while growing up and I started to love baking in high school, so I guess that has carried on.

What do you like most about having a blog?
I like getting comments. I haven't been blogging to much because I've been busy lately with three kids three and under, but hey. Throw me a bone, would ya?! ;) I like that it can be my journal without having to spend an hour or two writing things down and getting a hand cramp.

Who am I tagging?
Melissa at http://theattorneyswidow.blogspot.com/
Doulabean at http://justonedayatatime.blogspot.com/
and
Taffi at http://taffisblog.blogsome.com/

Have fun!

Sharpies

Have you seen that commercial where the mom can't put the baby down or it cries? They show her trying to pack lunches for her older children and she sets the baby on the floor and he cries. She lifts him up and automatically he stops. Then she just puts his toes on the floor and he screams again and up he goes into her arms. She takes it all in stride and whips out her Sharpie retractable pen and manages to write the kids' names on their lunch sacks and adds a cute flower for the girl's bag, even. She manages to write on other things too, all while holding this baby (who is really maybe a year old or so).

Today, that crying baby is mine. I realize that my baby is only 2 months old, but every time I've set him down today, he's cried. I do have carriers to hold him in, but my back is already killing me and I have been bending down a lot today and since I don't trust baby wraps 100% to hold my baby in while I bend, that defeats the whole purpose. At least in my mind it does. I would love to just sit and hold him all day, but then nothing would get done and I'd become irritable and we don't want that. So like the Sharpie mom, I am left to do things one-handed while holding a baby. And amazingly, I got a lot of things done today. Maybe I'm more productive using only one hand/arm. Hmm...don't tell anyone...let's keep it our little secret.

Motivation

My motivation is seriously lacking lately. I swear my dh must think I'm on the computer all day because he seems to only see me when I'm sitting in the chair in front of it. I do do other things. Not many other things, but I do them. I think I would like for someone to take my kids for several hours (or days or weeks) and I could clean and sort through crap...uh, I mean our stuff that we never use, and get rid of it. But it would have to be on a day when my dh wasn't home either because he would see me sorting through our belongings and break out into a cold sweat. "Why are you getting rid of that?" Uhh....because it's been sitting in our garage since we were married and we'll never ever ever use it. And because I'm tired of looking at it and moving it around to make room for other things that we buy and will never ever ever use. That's why. Some days I have the motivation to do what I want and my kids will cooperate and play nice. Then there are the days where I have the motivation and my kids are absolute terrors. Those days are more frequent and I tend to get discouraged and lose my motivation. So alas, here I sit...with no motivation and one dirty and cluttered house. *sigh*

Ah, you so smart hubster!

But I really don't want you to be right.

For the past two days (it seems....it might've just been today) I've been feeding Ty every 1 1/2 -2 hours and to be honest, was getting tired of it. I mean, there's only so much suction these momma udders can take and they were getting tired too. If Ty wasn't eating, though, he was fussy and just not himself. Today he didn't sleep much because he was too busy fussing and eating! Every time Bon would hold him he'd say "I think he's hungry", which is usually what anyone will say when a nursing baby is fussy. "Impossible!" I'd think. I would glance at a clock and only an hour had passed since his last feeding. So tonight, as I reached the end of my rope (it was more than just Ty. I'm in a general pissy-ness about life right now sorta stage), I pulled out the sample can of formula we got with our hospital diaper bag and made a 4 ounce bottle. And what did Ty do? He gulped down 2 ounces, burped, took a little break and then finished it off. So yeah. He was hungry. But what do I do??

Well, I get sad. Sad because I think I might not be making enough milk for my wee one. I've never had this problem before, except for when I was pregnant and nursing. (which btw, is NOT the case here, since we haven't even dtd since I birthed the baby.) So now after doing a little research, I'm going to try and eat more oatmeal and see if that will boost my supply any. And drink more water. I could always do that too. I don't want to supplement. I don't want to give up breastfeeding. I am not ready for this yet. It makes me sad.

And for the general pissy-ness?? What do I do about that? Well, I would love it if my toddlers understood that waking a sleeping baby by giving him kisses and hugs is not my idea of "love". And if Ryan understood that roaring "Tyrone" in the baby's face doesn't really make "Tyrone" happy, it would de-stress me just a little. I can't seem to get the toddlers to understand that babies really can see further than 3 inches away and that sometimes they really do like to just sit and look at things. This whole being a mom thing is just hard. And lately I don't really want to do it. I love my kids, but sometimes I just don't love being their mom. lol How's that for making sense?

The highlight of my day

Ty losing his cord! Wahoo!! I hate those ugly little things!!!!

That's all. Return to your normally scheduled programs... :)

Emotions, emotions everywhere

These baby blues suck. Really. I mean, how many times can I cry at the drop of a hat or cry for 20 minutes straight with thoughts of "how is my daughter going to handle hearing that her best friend is moving all the way across country and will probably never see her again?" And what kind of mother am I for not preparing her earlier? Any decent mom would give her daughter warning and ample time for grieving or whatever, but no, not me. I'm horrible!! Or at least I feel that way right now. How long will these feelings of overwhelming guilt consume me? How long will it take me to stop crying? lol And to add to this, I feel so disconnected with my husband right now. I love him to pieces and I know he loves me, but I don't think he's shown me any sort of affection since the baby's been here. I mean, sure, he bought me pizza because I wanted some, or he let me eat his ice cream, but c'mon. I want him to hug me, pat me on the back, tell me he loves me, give me a kiss....anything. I don't know that I've done anything like that to him, but I feel like he doesn't want me to. I dunno. I'm just bawling and whining. I guess it doesn't help that I'm listening to Josh Groban's Closer album. He sings so passionately, even on the songs that are in a foreign language.

Alright. I'm going to try and buck it up now. Kudos for you if you made it to the end without rolling your eyes and mentally telling me to "get a grip". :)