Business Time

One of the funniest things I've seen/heard lately.

What's that word??

A couple of weeks ago, we had stake conference. About a week beforehand, I was talking with my mother-in-law (abbrev. = mil) about who would possibly be the new stake presidency. They were reorganizing and we were speculating. She had made a few guesses and I told her that if we went there and her guesses were all correct, I was going to think she was a really good--- and my mind went blank. I couldn't think of the word I wanted to use, but could think of another that I knew was completely wrong. So this is how the conversation played out.

Me: ....think you're a really good....
MIL: Psychic?
Me: Yes! Psychic! That's the word. The only word I could think of was v0yuer and I knew that was totally NOT the right word.
MIL: (bursting into laughter) Ah, I needed a good laugh today!

I got home and typed v0yuer into www.dictionary.com and made sure I knew what it meant and am somewhat shocked at myself for having that word in the forefront of my mind. Especially while talking to my mil!! lol I'm glad she has a good sense of humor.

It's times like these

After having an argument with my sister last night, I'm glad that I married into a normal, loving family. I cried for hours after she hung up on me last night. My husband was confused at why I was crying and all I could say was that it hurt. I don't know what hurt, but it just hurt. It amazes me that after 18 years, she can still hold grudges and be hurt by people. Sure I remember 18 years ago. I remember the change of having our dad remarry and all the changes that occurred after that. I know that we were just "step- children" and that she (the step-mom) really didn't like the way we did anything. My sister was 16 and it was hard on her because she has always had this mothering way about her and having to give that up to some other woman was a struggle. They fought all the time. She moved out and I had a hell of a rough teenage life myself, but to hang on to that for this long is just exhausting. I do think about all the hurt and words that were said to me, like no one would ever love me, I was stupid, etc., etc., but forgiving people is what makes a person move on. My step-mom has changed. She had severe depression, but wasn't diagnosed. I understand that. But my sister hasn't. She continues to hang on to how we were treated. How our dad didn't stand up for us. How everything at that time was all about keeping his marriage alive. It just makes me sad for her. How miserable she must be as a person to hang on to past hurts like that.

So this all started with a conversation about our Christmas with that side of the family and how she doesn't want to go after what happened at our last get together. According to her, our step-mom and our grandma (who really does like to get in everyone's business) jumped on her and told her that she should get a double mastectomy. Honestly I was there and no one ever said anything remotely close to that, but that's how she interpreted what they were trying to say to her. A little back history. Our mom died from breast cancer, our aunt died from ovarian cancer. We are high risk. My sister is 34 and has never been to a gyn. Our mom died when she was 40 when she died. They were trying to tell her that getting check ups were the key to preventing this disease. But my sister is so set in her ways that she thinks she knows her body well enough that if she were to get the disease, she would be able to handle it. Why wait to get the disease? It's like she's just waiting to get cancer. Like she expects it. It makes me sick. She's not married, no kids, doesn't date, lives with our maternal grandmother out in the sticks. She has surrounded herself with old people. And at times I know she blames me. She told me once that I'm living the life she always wanted, but now she's stuck taking care of grandma. I know that Grandma would want her to be happy. Would want her to get out and see people her own age. It's just so frustrating that she thinks she's being all martyr like and really all I see is a sad, old, bitter woman stuck in a 34 year old's body.

I just need to move past this. This is going to occupy my thoughts today I can tell and I really don't want those thoughts in there. I just want some happiness for her, but don't know how to help her find it.

Having manners

I just started a Bunko group for some girls in my ward. Now, you would think that since I picked adults, that they would be considerate and have manners and return phone calls and the like. No. It's crazy! Whatever happened to saying you'll do something and then...I dunno...DOING it??? It's driving me crazy! Don't say "that sounds like fun, oh yeah, I'll be there" and then bail out because you had a bad hair day or you have a hangnail or you feel fat. Bunko isn't like Scrabble where you can play with whoever is there. I'm so pissy about this. Deep breath, deep breath.

24/7

Man. I'm tired of being on-call 24/7. It's hard being a mom sometimes. I want another vacation! I'm pooped!

Right around the corner

I can't believe that Christmas is right around the corner. It seems like just last week was Halloween. Or maybe that's because I'm still sneaking the candy... Anyway, this season of holidays is just flying by and before we know it, it'll be 2008 and off we'll go. We received a hand-me-down Christmas tree from a family in our ward. They had gotten new furniture and the tree was too big for their living room. The kids and I put it up on Sunday and have slowly been decorating it since. I decided to have colored lights on it this year and had to buy more, since the one strand I had was not enough. Our living room is a mess of Christmas stuff scattered and stuffed into the corners. I hope to work on getting the rest of the lights on today.

I feel like time goes too fast. The days are too short and I don't get done the things I need/want to get done. Some things aren't as important as others, but I guess not having any clean underwear can be a problem come shower time. Hm...

Off I go to tame the kids and work my cleaning magic.

Quick thinking leads to fun times

Tonight after dinner, my husband really wanted to have an ice cream sandwich, but didn't want to eat one in front of the kids. So he cut one into four pieces and said that we were going to have a lesson on sharing and we are going to learn how to share. So he picked up a piece and handed it to the kids and said he was sharing with them. After Reagan finished her slice of heaven, she hops up and says "I'm ready to learn some more!" lol Quick!

Then tonight as we are getting our older two in bed, Ryan is crying because he wants the stuffed animal that Reagan has and well...we know how pretty that can be. So Bon comes in with a bouncy ball and tells Ryan that if he stops crying, he can have the glow-in-the-dark bouncy ball. Ryan was immediately silent and awestruck that he could have the ball. He wanted the lights off right away. Bon gives me this panicked look, like "oh crap...it doesn't really glow..." But he shuts off the light and I say to Ryan "oh cool!!! Can you see it?" Ryan's response "no". lol So we say that it's a darker-in-the-dark ball and the darker it is, the darker the ball gets and we are totally playing up how cool that is to have. Ryan bought into it and was asleep in 5 minutes. *phew* We escaped that nightmare!!

Smeared oreos and breakfast cake

That is what happens to be all over my kitchen/dining room floor. But right now, I have no energy to clean it up. Actually, I'm thinking of laying down to "rest my eyes" for a spell. No one is coming to my house today and well...if they did, maybe I would cough really hard to deter them from coming inside.

A random product review: Arby's new toasted subs. The turkey and bacon club is to die for. So yummy! Pair it with some curly fries with cheddar and you're good to go.

The new look

Olivia is great! She helped me achieve the look I desired and I am so grateful! Thank you Olivia!!!

So a little update. The cold. Still hanging around. You think my head would run out of things to put in a tissue, but alas, every 15 minutes I blow my nose. I don't sound so much like a man anymore. My mother-in-law said it was more like Rachel Ray.

The onion smell. It's back. And you want to know what it is? It's the treadmill. Gross. Beyond disgusting. At least when I'm on the treadmill, my nose isn't against the belt. Well...usually anyway. ;)

Turkey trot. I'm "running" in our local Turkey Trot this year with three other girls from my ward and maybe a guy. 5 miles. Holy. Crap. I am so not ready. The one girl's goal is to finish in under an hour, even if it's 59:59. My husband keeps asking me if I'm ready and he knows the answer because he asks it with a huge grin on his face. Yeah, I'm ready to look like a complete idiot. Sure!! I do that well. lol

Bunko. Who knew it was so hard to start a bunko group? Not me, but I do now. We're having our mock night this coming Saturday so that those who have no idea how to play can learn. I'm just excited for the food that people will be bringing. Ahhhh....treats. And I wonder why I'm not losing weight....

I sound like a man.

This cold is kicking my tail! My voice, which I think might be a touch deeper than my husbands, is fading fast. I could easily sing bass notes. Forget that I'm normally a soprano. *pshaw* Who needs to sing soprano when they can belt out the deepest notes possible?! My ears are plugged up too. That makes it hard to hear my kids drone on, um, I mean, ask questions or make comments. I usually say "huh?" and they mumble their words again. My son has a double ear infection, so I'm wondering how well he's hearing. My daughter was acting weirdly tonight. I went up to check on her and she was holding one of my husband's socks and walking around the bed, giggling. Odd. I asked if she was awake and she said yes. But who knows.

Off to lay down with my kid again. Up for the third time in an hour.....

Never

I never realized that a 4 year-old could have so much attitude. And that a 3 year-old could be so ornery. And that a 14 month-old could cry sooo much. Holy heck. I'm slowly going insane. My husband is out of town, so that leaves me to be the sole crazy person. It's Thursday, right? One more day, one more day, one more day....

Gone

The onion smell has gone. I got rid of it. It smells much nicer down here now. Ahh... Wanna know the gross part? No? Oh c'mon. I know you do! It was coming from the drain in the floor that the utility sink drains into. Nice huh. (barf!) I poured bleach down the drain and then hot water and then I ran hot water in the sink for several minutes. Then I plugged up the sink, put in laundry soap, and let it fill up a ways and then let it out. I did that a couple of times. I thought the "flushing" of the drain would get rid of the smell and it did! I'm so happy now!

About the page layout. I am sooooo HTML challenged, that I'm not sure I'll ever get it changed. I do have my header, but other than that.... I'm still thinking about changing it though. ;)

I'm trying to update

the look of my blog, thanks to Lei and others. I'm not a computer savvy person at all, so bear with me. :)

My laundry room smells like onions

And it's really disgusting. I like onions, but I don't want to have a room in my house smelling like them. And the odd part is that it's only on the one half of the room. I guess that means I should clean in there and see where the onion odor is coming from. Please don't let it be a rotten onion. I think I would puke. And if you're wondering why there would be a rotten onion, or any onion in there, it would be because my kitchen and my laundry room used to share the same room. There was a time when my main cooking sources were a toaster oven, microwave and electric skillet. And I did dishes in my utility sink and we stocked up our mini fridge. But then we finished the "real" kitchen and I cook in the basement no more. Although, my son still refers to the laundry room as the kitchen. Anyway...I digress. Onion in the laundry room because it used to bunk with the kitchen. Got it?

I braved life today and we invited one of Reagan's best friends over. They were pretty good and even though Ryan was being a total punk, everyone seemed to get along well. Ryan did come downstairs towards the end of her time here and pouted to me that he didn't have a friend. So I played with him a little and he was okay. After getting the kids in bed, I ran to Target and Helzberg diamonds to see what the charge would be to get my wedding ring resized. My fingers are a little fatter than 8 years ago and wearing my wedding band makes my finger sore. Now I'm home and should be heading to bed soon.

Relaxation...sort of.

Today is the first day in a while where I don't feel like I have a big rush to get something done. It's so nice! I was in charge of our primary's activity on Saturday and being the last minute planner that I am, it went surprisingly well. A few parents said that their kids had a great time. Sometimes I think I get too caught up in doing things that the parents will think is cool and not what the kids will like. This time I tried to not care about that and it went, for the most part, smoothly. As we were leaving the church, it was pouring down rain. I mean the kind of downpour where you run 20 feet and your clothes are drenched. The kids thought it was a blast to have daddy run carrying them and throw them into the back of the van. After we were all in, I realized I forgot to lock the church! Crap! So I was ultra-soaked.

I have so many projects lined up that I don't think I'll ever get them done. I think I need to write them all down and try to have them all done in a certain time frame, or I know I'll never get them done. I'm starting to feel like I need another 12 hours added on to my day, so I can get everything done.

This week is our 8 year anniversary! It seems so weird do have it be that long. Like, when did we become grown-ups?! We aren't old enough to have a 4 year old! And a house and a minivan! Gosh! We will probably celebrate our day on Saturday though, since my husband will be out of town on that day. Plus, Friday night is Bunko night! I'm looking forward to that. Even though I will feel all that anxiety again. I worry too much. Just be me. I need to put that on a magnet or something or have that be my mantra.

I'm trying to clean my whole house this week. Let's see if I can do it! I'm so lazy... lol

Summer break is over

I have had one heckuva busy summer. It went faster than I ever thought it would/could. My kids grew and had fun. I had a vacation by myself, which was great. Came home and took a vacation with the family and that was fun too. Going to the beach is surprisingly fun with three kids aged 4, 3 and 1. I missed my 10 year high school reunion, but got to meet up with an girl I went to school with and she filled me in on most everyone's life. I got my hair cut and my best friend highlighted it. My best friend also had her baby on the 4th of July. Baby William. :) He's cute.

Life has been hard on me lately, but I keep praying that I'll get the strength I need each day and just live it one day at a time. I am planning a Primary Activity for Saturday. It should be fun!

Well, I need to feed my kids lunch. Hopefully I'll keep this going, because I know how much you all missed me. ;)

It's only Tuesday?

Well crap! This week has been anything but nice to me. I'm seriously at the end of my rope with my older two. I can not handle this "testing their independence" stage. Seriously. CAN NOT HANDLE IT!!! Combine that with being over-tired and we have ourselves a humdinger of a craptastic day! My husband is out of town and all I want to do is crawl in a hole and cry. I'm ready for Friday.

Bedtime

It's bedtime. My kids are all sleeping, my husband is gone for work and I should be in bed. But I'm not. I have a horrible habit of staying up waaaaay too late when my husband travels for work and since he's going to be gone a lot this month, this is going to be one heckuva tired May.

I'm staring to get more organized. And I'm loving it! I have the kid's toys in bins in the basement/toy room/family room. Reagan's room is no longer a chaotic mess of toys since taking them all out. All she has in there now are books, stuffed animals and her dress up clothes, which are shoved in a dresser drawer. Ryan has a toybox in his room with odds and ends toys. And our room??? NO TOYS!!! Ahhhhhh.... lol It's great.

This week I hope to accomplish these goals:

• run/exercise 4 times
• put books on bookshelf
• finish laundry AND put it away
• finish cleaning garage
• sell pool on craigslist
• possibly find a push mower on craigslist

If my kids cooperate and I'm not lazy I could do all that plus more. lol :)

A little catching up

Since this is my journal of sorts, I am going to go all the way back to Easter to write something down, before it leaves my memory. This Easter, my dh's niece, Jessie, came to get her patriarchal blessing from Bon's dad. He was just made stake patriarch last stake conference. Now he is able to give blessings to his posterity. Anyway, it was fun to see her and see what a beautiful young woman she is. Easter Sunday was somewhat rushed because of her departure that afternoon from the airport. So we ate a rushed dinner and the kids were being very ornery, so we left grandma and grandpa's house and came home. I had hidden .... I mean, the Easter bunny had hidden some plastic eggs filled with coins and jelly beans down in the basement. Ryan had fallen asleep on the trip home and was still sleeping. So Reagan and I went into the basement to see what we could find. She started finding eggs, gasping "Oh, here's another one! And another one!" and thinking it was sooooo cool that the Easter bunny left them there for her. Then as she would find one, she would suddenly stop and look around and say "The Easter bunny is still here!" like she could kind of see him. I did tell her that the EB was invisible, so I'm guessing she thought this invisible bunny was going around hiding the eggs while we were down there finding them. It was really cute. And afterwards, we sat on the couch and she held her hand out mime style like she was feeling something and told me she could feel it. It was going back and forth in front of her. She was hilarious!

Some peace?

Can I get any? I'm having one of those days where I don't want to talk to anyone and when anyone talks to me, I feel myself becoming more and more impatient and wanting to roll my eyes. I just want to lay in bed and sleep. And I wish my kids would sit quietly and not touch anything or ask for more bubble gum or juice. Right now my son is dumping a piggy bank's worth of coins and I can hear them bouncing on the carpet. I'm really suppressing the urge to tell him to stop, because I tell my kids to stop/be quiet/stop touching me/stop yelling/don't fight all. day. long. Can we rewind this day and start over? PMS sucks rocks.

Hair

Stacy just did a great blog about her many hairstyles. It's so fun to go back through pictures and see the hairstyles and wonder just what in the world we were thinking. I don't have time to go through and do such an extensive list as she has done, but I will do this one.



I was in 4th or 5th grade and thought I looked great! But the hair! Oh my heck! It's poofy and mulletish! And there is so much of it that I could hide a small furry something in there, or maybe even a large furry something. And to go with the big hair, big glasses. Because really, who didn't have big glasses in the 80's?!

Wordless Wednesday

We are an example of normal

We are taking the marriage and family relations course during the Sunday school hour at our church. And well, our teachers are a nice couple, but I am having a really hard time understanding why they are teaching this class. I commented to Bon tonight that it seems we have been getting along better. Not that we were doing poorly before, but we are having a good time and laughing a lot. He said it was because we were in this class....then we both started laughing. Why? Because if you saw the people in this class, you would see that we are the example of normal. And that's kind of scary, especially if you know me. ;)

3 down, 2 to go...

Last weekend Ryan had it. Friday I had it. Friday night Reagan had it. Who's left? Daddy and Ty. That's right folks, Pukefest '07 has come to our home and with the help of Lysol and Clorox, I'm hoping it leaves and avoids contaminating the 2 remaining contestants, um, I mean family members. Spring has finally sprung and I don't want to be stuck inside all day, armed with a bowl, waiting and listening for that gurgly cough. Makes me grumpy. And tired.

There isn't much to post about. OH! Reagan had her birthday and has been telling people that "My mommy says I'm gonna be 4 ALL WEEK!!!" I look at her and am amazed at how much she has grown. The baby chub is going away (maybe because of her pickiness at meal times), she is tall and lanky. And she is beautiful. And she has spunk. Almost daily she'll say something and I'll wonder where she learned/heard/saw that and it hits me that she is really absorbing the things in her environment. My husband said we need to teach her how to pick good friends, because she is such a follower. She loves being around other "big girls" and doing big girl things. She recently told the primary chorister, in front of the whole jr. primary, that "my mom says you don't do it right". Ack! Talk about total embarrassment!! *sigh* Luckily the chorister didn't think much of it, but now every time she starts saying "my mom says" I get a little short of breath and break out in a sweat. :)

I Can

Lei is always inspiring. She writes beautifully and it really makes me wish I had those sort of skills. But I don't. lol. It's midnight and I'm struggling to spell things right. I think I'm hitting backspace more than actual letters for words. Anyway. On to things I can do!

I can bake one heck of a chocolate chip cookie.
I can make milk.
I can sing songs with my children.
I can talk for hours with my best friend.
I can laugh.
I can daydream about organization.
I can play airplane with my kids and get a good leg workout.
I can pray.
I can sing.
I can choose to not be offended.
I can be silly.
I can love deeply.
I can miss greatly.
I can smile at strangers and make them smile back.
I can color with my kids.
I can be.

Happy things

My kids are all asleep at this very moment. Ahhh....peace.

My best friend had her ultrasound yesterday and I saw pictures today and it is so cute! I am so excited for them!

Reagan and Ryan are really good kids. Even though they have meltdowns and tantrums, they listen and mind me about 98% of the time.

I got a whole bunch of material from my mother-in-law. Don't know what I'll make with it, but I've got it!

I went shopping today with her also (my mother-in-law (mil, for short)) and it was fun. My fil (father-in-law) has been working from home a lot lately and it's driving her a little nuts. She was so excited when I called so she could get out of the house and not feel guilty.

I got my dh (dear husband) some new dress/work pants today at Penneys. I hope he like them.

I also got some new tarts to melt in my tart warmer. I love Yankee Candle. I got a new one, at least new to me, that smells divine. Cranberry and something else. mmm....I wish I could suck it in my nose and smell it all the time.

I have a really cute, happy baby. He's getting so big and if I hold him too long, my arms ache. He's a heavyweight. But cute. And smiley. And did I mention cute? ;)

We're supposed to be getting a new carseat shipped to us pdq. When we ordered it, it was backordered and so they said approx. 3 weeks. Tomorrow will be three weeks and I'm really hoping it comes! He's definately outgrown the weight on his infant seat. But not by much. He might be just at the limit.

I was telling my dh some of my gardening plans and he nodded the entire time, agreeing with it all. Hmmm...I wonder if it'll actually happen this year?

Um, that's all I can think of at the moment. My brain is starting to slow down. ;)

 

"She seems a little...."

My title is quoting something I said today, except I'm leaving out what it is that she seems. I don't want people to think too horribly of me. Nor do I want any hate mail or the CIA or something like that showing up on my front doorstep.

But do you ever feel like you should wear a sign that says "I often put my foot in my mouth!" I do. And man, do I. Sometimes I feel like if I'm not putting my foot in my mouth, then I'm saying something totally offensive to someone or saying something that makes me sound like a racist/prejudiced/you name it kinda person. Which I'm totally not. I've put my foot in my mouth a couple of times lately and I'm thinking that maybe I should really just keep my comments to myself. But hey, if you ask for them.... ;)

Sometimes they're up

And sometimes they're down. Just last week, I was having one where I was ready to hand over my mom badge, escape marriage-hood, dye my hair bleach blonde and drive off in the sunset over the edge of the cliff with my friends, Thelma and Louise. I was at my wits end and every bit of patience and lovingness had escaped my ever-lumpy body. I felt as though my medication wasn't working and the only emotion I could show was anger. It was destroying me to see my kids flinch in fear when I started yelling over something dumb, but I just couldn't control it. I wanted out. I needed it gone. Monday, which was the worst of the worst, was the turning point. I had asked my dh the previous week for a blessing. After a trying day, I finally got it and life didn't seem so dreary after that. Focus on the gospel and the happiness it brings. It brought me such comfort and I haven't been nearly as angry. I have found joy in simple things like dancing around the bedroom with my kids. I kind of like my kids a little bit more. ;) So moods. Sometimes they're up and sometimes they're down.

Longest month

I think January is the longest month. My husband claims that his business slows down in the winter, but he has been awfully busy this month. And I'm getting tired of it. He was overseas two weeks ago. Last week he had a guy up from the U.S. office and was "training" him. He was home every night, but when he has people in town, it's like he's not really here anyway. Then this week he's been in Michigan. He gets back tomorrow, but it'll probably be late after the kids are in bed (or on our floor which they claim they like better than their beds). It's exhausting for me when he's out of town. I can't sleep and then I'm up with the kids. Sometimes I can manage to get a nap in, but not all the time. My two-year-old has decided that I'm not an authority figure he needs to listen to. And my three-year-old asks off the wall questions all day long and talks non-stop. I think that's part of the "girl" thing. Today her question/comment was about why she couldn't feel Jesus if he was in her heart. She was pushing on her belly trying to feel Him. Oy vey.

Well, my kids are in destruction mode. My throat hurts from yelling at them while vacuuming. Don't ask...I was ready for bed when I woke up.

Things I got done today

• After much begging by my girl, we made spritz cookies this morning. My older two decorated them with colored sugar before baking and I think we made about a million.
  
• I cleaned the two full-baths today. I even had to re-scrub the floor in one because it smelled like dirty butt. It was gross. It didn't smell like dirty butt when I started cleaning the first time, but after washing it. Go figure!
  
• I picked up the laundry off my bedroom floor that has been there since oh...November! and *gasp* put. it. away!!! "No way!" you say. And to that I say "Yeah way!"
  
• And then I vacuumed said floor. Yeah. Go ahead. I know you want to do the whole Elaine from Seinfeld 'Get out!' complete with a push. I'll brace myself.
  
• I also washed the dishes.
  
• And made dinner.
  

So what that I didn't shower or even put a bra on today. I cleaned. Seriously folks, I could start a trend around here. And just to get some bonus points...today's dinner was the third (that's a 3 with an rd after it) dinner I've made this week....in a row. I know, I know. I'm such the homemaker....