I ain't no redneck

I read over my list this morning and realized that I sound like a total redneck, white-trash, trailer park, wife beater wearing momma. And I just wanted to let you know that I'm not. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I'm not. I'm fairly normal.

See, here's a picture of me (albeit bad) with my kiddos. I realize that my face looks huge and my glasses are glaring and my daughter has horrible red-eye and you can't even see my older son's eyes because he's smiling so nicely, but hey, you get what you get.

Things you may...or may not know about me

I've been lacking in my blog. I need witty. I need you to see me. I read other well-written, witty and charming blogs and I think to myself "I totally think like that! I could've written that if I weren't so not funny when I write!" So I decided to do a list of things about me that you may or may not know. I don't know how long it'll be, but it'll be.

1. I love laughing.
2. I love reading good books.
3. I love hearing my baby fart. It means he'll be less grouchy.
4. I'm not good at making my baby laugh.
5. I wish I was.
6. If I could be shorter or thinner, I'd choose shorter.
7. I have been craving ice cream. Chocolate to be precise.
8. I don't really have a favorite number. and it's annoying when people ask what it is, because really, who has a favorite number and why?? I just don't understand the whole favorite number craze...
9. I wish that I liked my sister better.
10. I hope she never finds my blog. lol
11. I share a middle name with my grandmother.
12. I am rarely full. I love, love, love to eat.
13. But I'm shy about it because I feel like too much of a pig because I could easily eat more than my husband.
14. Which is probably why I weigh 25 pounds more than him.
15. I'm not a huge fan of horses.
16. I love roller coasters.
17. I love to bake.
18. I wish I wasn't so lazy.
19. But I'm too lazy to do anything about it.
20. I usually feel inferior around people because I didn't go to college.
21. Call me crazy.
22. I usually only brush my teeth once a day. (eww, gross!)
23. But at least it's in the morning.
24. Now if anyone reads this and they know me they'll be checking out my teeth to see how nasty they are, and they'll be surprised because they aren't nasty. :)
25. And I'll post more later.

Finished....and messy

Living room













Kitchen from dining room











Dining room and kitchen from kitchen. We also were suprised with a new fridge from one of Bon's sisters. It's way nice and I love it. And her. :)
p.s. I hope this format is okay. I can't tell how it's going to post. :)


 

Par-tay!

Have I mentioned that I love this time of year? And did I mention that I'm extra excited because my kitchen/living room is done? I don't care that we don't have a stitch of furniture for our living room, I'm just happy that it's liveable now. *sigh*

So, today at church, I get this grand idea to have a cookie decorating party at our house on Friday. I casually mentioned this to Bon yesterday, and he suggested inviting a less-active family in our ward that has children around the same age as our older two. But the party I suggested to Bon was a gingerbread house making party, which would be harder and you wouldn't invite a lot of people to unless you had lots of space. I digress...anyway....today as I remind people about the mommy and me group at my house on Thursday, I also invite them to the cookie decorating party. Bon asked who all I invited. Um, the W family, the B's, the B's, the A's, the M's, the G's, the R's...I think that's it. lol And now I can think of 3 more families that weren't there that I wanted to invite. But it will be so much fun!! I can get games out and make punch and we'll decorate and eat cookies and visit and it'll be so much fun! Wanna come? :)

Today we had tithing settlement. As we sat there with our bishop, he told us how much he loved us and loved what we are doing, being active in the church and raising a family. He teared up while telling us and it was just neat to hear that coming from him. I thought for the longest time that he didn't even know who I was. lol Silly, I guess. He has a neat family and the more I get to know his wife, the more I realize how much of a super, super nice person she is. When our youngest was blessed, she wrote down the key things that my dh had said in his blessing. I thanked her and she told me that she wished that someone would've done that for her when her children were blessed, so she tries to do that for others. Aw. :) So sweet!

I'll go snap some pictures of my kitchen, mess and all. Just for you loyal readers. ;) lol

Christmas

I can't believe how fast Christmas has come this year. And the whole Christmas Eve on Sunday thing is throwing me off too. I am so excited for Christmas this year. Our kitchen is done and I can bake until I burst! I *LOVE* to bake! I love eating what I bake too! :) The kids are excited for Santa and the possibility of getting gifts. R-girl is asking for everything under the sun and then says "I hope Santa will bring me that!" with a hopeful tune. Now I just need to be a little more organized and actually get more things for gift-giving. We are having Christmas with my mom and dad this Saturday. Should be fun!

gotta go. My tummy's rumbling! :)

Some things I've learned

1. When you get motivated to rearrange/clean your bedroom, it won't get done in one day. Especially if you have kids. Plan on it taking a week or so.

2. Trying to take a relaxing bath while all three kids are awake is not relaxing at all. If you want it to be relaxing, make sure you have a lock on your door and make sure your door actually closes. Or try taking a bath on another level in the house, or a completely different house...

3. If you are trying to be sexy, let the whipped cream warm up first. Nothing says "I love you" like fresh from the fridge whipped cream on your *ahem* personal-sensitive-to-cold-areas.

This week is way busy for me. I don't even know if I'll be able to get it all done. But yet, it needs to be done, so I will try my darndest. As Tigger says "TTFN! Ta Ta for now!"

Sweet! I've been tagged!

I feel so popular! lol Thanks, Olivia!

What do you like most about where you live?
I like that we have 4 seasons and that this town (and especially the ward (church congregation) that I'm in now has a very small town feel to it. It's like everyone grew up here and/or has family that's here. I didn't like the smallness of it when we first moved in, but now it's comforting.

Is there anything strange about where you live?
I can't think of anything too odd. Oh, except for the fact that even though I'm only 15 minutes south of another "big" city, people make it seem like it's reeeaaaalllly far away. Like "oh, I've never really been there. It's so far away." huh? oookay freak. lol

What is one of your all time favorite music albums and why?
Here's an off the wall one. EMF-Schubert Dip. I have this on cassette tape and have had it for 10 years. I would love to get it on cd. Whenever I play it, I just love to sing along and dance around like an idiot. It's a good "I'm really mad and need to clean the whole house ceiling to floor" music too.

Did you have a passion for something as a kid that you still have now? (if not, what is one of your passions now?)
I wish I could say that I have something I'm passionate about. I really like to do things, but there really isn't anything I'm passionate about. I'm trying to change that about myself. I do like to read and sew and bake. What incredibly boring things to do, but it's the truth. I loved to read while growing up and I started to love baking in high school, so I guess that has carried on.

What do you like most about having a blog?
I like getting comments. I haven't been blogging to much because I've been busy lately with three kids three and under, but hey. Throw me a bone, would ya?! ;) I like that it can be my journal without having to spend an hour or two writing things down and getting a hand cramp.

Who am I tagging?
Melissa at http://theattorneyswidow.blogspot.com/
Doulabean at http://justonedayatatime.blogspot.com/
and
Taffi at http://taffisblog.blogsome.com/

Have fun!

Sharpies

Have you seen that commercial where the mom can't put the baby down or it cries? They show her trying to pack lunches for her older children and she sets the baby on the floor and he cries. She lifts him up and automatically he stops. Then she just puts his toes on the floor and he screams again and up he goes into her arms. She takes it all in stride and whips out her Sharpie retractable pen and manages to write the kids' names on their lunch sacks and adds a cute flower for the girl's bag, even. She manages to write on other things too, all while holding this baby (who is really maybe a year old or so).

Today, that crying baby is mine. I realize that my baby is only 2 months old, but every time I've set him down today, he's cried. I do have carriers to hold him in, but my back is already killing me and I have been bending down a lot today and since I don't trust baby wraps 100% to hold my baby in while I bend, that defeats the whole purpose. At least in my mind it does. I would love to just sit and hold him all day, but then nothing would get done and I'd become irritable and we don't want that. So like the Sharpie mom, I am left to do things one-handed while holding a baby. And amazingly, I got a lot of things done today. Maybe I'm more productive using only one hand/arm. Hmm...don't tell anyone...let's keep it our little secret.

Motivation

My motivation is seriously lacking lately. I swear my dh must think I'm on the computer all day because he seems to only see me when I'm sitting in the chair in front of it. I do do other things. Not many other things, but I do them. I think I would like for someone to take my kids for several hours (or days or weeks) and I could clean and sort through crap...uh, I mean our stuff that we never use, and get rid of it. But it would have to be on a day when my dh wasn't home either because he would see me sorting through our belongings and break out into a cold sweat. "Why are you getting rid of that?" Uhh....because it's been sitting in our garage since we were married and we'll never ever ever use it. And because I'm tired of looking at it and moving it around to make room for other things that we buy and will never ever ever use. That's why. Some days I have the motivation to do what I want and my kids will cooperate and play nice. Then there are the days where I have the motivation and my kids are absolute terrors. Those days are more frequent and I tend to get discouraged and lose my motivation. So alas, here I sit...with no motivation and one dirty and cluttered house. *sigh*

Ah, you so smart hubster!

But I really don't want you to be right.

For the past two days (it seems....it might've just been today) I've been feeding Ty every 1 1/2 -2 hours and to be honest, was getting tired of it. I mean, there's only so much suction these momma udders can take and they were getting tired too. If Ty wasn't eating, though, he was fussy and just not himself. Today he didn't sleep much because he was too busy fussing and eating! Every time Bon would hold him he'd say "I think he's hungry", which is usually what anyone will say when a nursing baby is fussy. "Impossible!" I'd think. I would glance at a clock and only an hour had passed since his last feeding. So tonight, as I reached the end of my rope (it was more than just Ty. I'm in a general pissy-ness about life right now sorta stage), I pulled out the sample can of formula we got with our hospital diaper bag and made a 4 ounce bottle. And what did Ty do? He gulped down 2 ounces, burped, took a little break and then finished it off. So yeah. He was hungry. But what do I do??

Well, I get sad. Sad because I think I might not be making enough milk for my wee one. I've never had this problem before, except for when I was pregnant and nursing. (which btw, is NOT the case here, since we haven't even dtd since I birthed the baby.) So now after doing a little research, I'm going to try and eat more oatmeal and see if that will boost my supply any. And drink more water. I could always do that too. I don't want to supplement. I don't want to give up breastfeeding. I am not ready for this yet. It makes me sad.

And for the general pissy-ness?? What do I do about that? Well, I would love it if my toddlers understood that waking a sleeping baby by giving him kisses and hugs is not my idea of "love". And if Ryan understood that roaring "Tyrone" in the baby's face doesn't really make "Tyrone" happy, it would de-stress me just a little. I can't seem to get the toddlers to understand that babies really can see further than 3 inches away and that sometimes they really do like to just sit and look at things. This whole being a mom thing is just hard. And lately I don't really want to do it. I love my kids, but sometimes I just don't love being their mom. lol How's that for making sense?

The highlight of my day

Ty losing his cord! Wahoo!! I hate those ugly little things!!!!

That's all. Return to your normally scheduled programs... :)

Emotions, emotions everywhere

These baby blues suck. Really. I mean, how many times can I cry at the drop of a hat or cry for 20 minutes straight with thoughts of "how is my daughter going to handle hearing that her best friend is moving all the way across country and will probably never see her again?" And what kind of mother am I for not preparing her earlier? Any decent mom would give her daughter warning and ample time for grieving or whatever, but no, not me. I'm horrible!! Or at least I feel that way right now. How long will these feelings of overwhelming guilt consume me? How long will it take me to stop crying? lol And to add to this, I feel so disconnected with my husband right now. I love him to pieces and I know he loves me, but I don't think he's shown me any sort of affection since the baby's been here. I mean, sure, he bought me pizza because I wanted some, or he let me eat his ice cream, but c'mon. I want him to hug me, pat me on the back, tell me he loves me, give me a kiss....anything. I don't know that I've done anything like that to him, but I feel like he doesn't want me to. I dunno. I'm just bawling and whining. I guess it doesn't help that I'm listening to Josh Groban's Closer album. He sings so passionately, even on the songs that are in a foreign language.

Alright. I'm going to try and buck it up now. Kudos for you if you made it to the end without rolling your eyes and mentally telling me to "get a grip". :)

Week 1

Ahh....the baby is here and is one week old already. I am feeling less sore as the days drag on, but still as tired as I was when I went to bed when I wake up. (did that make sense??) My dh thought I was ready to pop back into the full-time mothering role this Monday and I told him on Tuesday that I was not. He's been an enormous help since then. :) It's been so weird for me to get used to a little bum and a floppy head after having toddlers for so long. I swear that my son gained 10 pounds since last week, because each time I pick him up, I think to myself "Did he really weigh this much before??" or "Have his legs always been that chunky?" Reagan is starting to regain her independance. She seemed to lose the ability to go to the bathroom by herself and go into different rooms alone as the baby's due date approached. But now, behold! The bathroom isn't scary anymore and she'll let us "listen" to her instead of watch everything she does. And she has decided that going into other rooms isn't all that bad. She still has an attitude though. Like now she's yelling at me "I don't want to sleep in my bed!" Little does she know her only alternative is the floor....

That's all for now. The babe is starting to stir. Probably from Reagan yelling. lol Isn't that the way it goes though, when you have kids?!

Kicking myself

I had my 38 week check-up today...with a nurse practitioner. yeah. You read that right. A nurse practitioner. WHAT WAS I THINKING??? They can't to squat for me! Why did I not say anything when they were scheduling my appt.? I mean, honestly. I can't say, "get this baby out of me before I freaking lose my mind and go postal!" or "strip my membranes!" or "what day are you on-call...schedule me in!" I think sometimes the people that schedule the appts. must be oblivious to how things go. I've seen 3 out of the 6 doctors in that practice for this whole pregnancy so far. Why, when I'm down to the last month, would I want to start seeing NP's or the midwife??? Um, hellooo?! I have nothing against NP's or midwives, but when I haven't wanted to see one for my whole pregancy (which has lasted long enough, btw), why would I want to start now? So yeah, back to the kicking myself thing. I am done. I am through. I want to evict this baby. And so today, as I spent a whole 5 minutes with the NP, I was pissed with myself for being so dumb as to let myself be scheduled with a NP when I knew last week that I'd be done and ready to get this baby out. So now I wait. I wait to go into labor. Or I wait for my appt. next Wednesday with an actual doctor. My favorite doctor. :)

Oh, and my appt update. Gained 5 pounds. That's now 22 lb's from my pre-preg weight. or about 35 pounds from my lowest weight during pgcy. My blood pressure was 112/60 or something like that. And my cervix is "definately softer, but still thick" and I'm not dilated, but she said that we could call it "fingertip" dilated if I really wanted some sort of progress. Gee. Thanks. *phlbt* <---That's me sticking my tongue out at her...

And besides sex, what are your techniques to make yourself go into labor??

It's so awesome...

to have friends. My husband and I are kind of loners. We haven't had any "close" friends for the whole duration of our marriage (almost 7 years) and since we've moved to our new house, we have made some great friends. We moved here a year ago and upon going to church for the first time, thought "oh great...we're in an old couple's ward". Which, for the most part, is true. On a good Sunday, my husband might have 5+ men in Elder's Quorum (a meeting for men aged 18-40 something?). The rest are in High Council (which is older men, usually) and I guess their lessons always veer off topic and include some sort of "....and that's what's wrong with America" vents. So, after a month or so of living here, we met a fun, young couple. They've only been married a couple of years and don't have children yet, but man, are they fun!

I've been hanging out with the wife of the couple lately (Kendra). And this is why it's so awesome to have friends. Since my husband is out of town this week, I was telling her things that I want to get done while he's gone, so that when he comes home, he can do one or two things and then the things that I have done, will be ready to go. She's like, sounds great! When do you want me to come over to help you? lol...Sweet! So, even though I was with her all day today, she's coming over tomorrow, and then babysitting the kids for me on Wednesday while I go to my 37 week OB appt. What a great friend. I just love her to death. :)

So, it's awesome to finally have close friends. People that we can say "hey come over and hang out" and when they do, we actually enjoy our time with them.

To-do lists

Everyone I know of has some sort of "to-do" list. Mine is huge. And I think I make mine with good intentions, but then when I look at it I think "holy crap! There's no way I can get all of this done by ___!!" Yeah...maybe that's because I don't work so hard at getting the items crossed off. And then I get stressed about things not getting done. What is wrong with that system??!! ;)

I haven't blogged in a while. There isn't really any news to update you all on. So I'm off to go and do something on my to-do list.

It just hit me

2 weeks until this baby is term.
4 weeks until I'm 39 weeks, which is when my last baby decided to join us.
5 weeks until I'm 40 weeks.

Holy crap! What am I doing sitting around blogging then??? I've got work to do! The carseat is still in a bag, sitting in the garage, alongside the swing! Baby clothes are all washed, but holy heck, they aren't organized! Pack-n-play is not put together with bassinette attached. My house is an unorganized, chaotic (is that spelled right?) mess. We aren't any closer to having a name picked out than we were 8 years ago. (That's a huge joke, since we've only been married for close to 7...) Bags aren't packed at.all. Only one list has been made and nothing is getting checked off regularly. Lists are very important you know, for the close to freaking out pregnant woman (aka. ME!). So yeah, I'm going to be doing as much as I can around the house for a few weeks.

And I think my online friend cursed me. (beret) As I lay in bed at 5:30 this morning, I kept thinking..."I could be doing so many things while the kids sleep!" So I got up! I know. I almost spit my drink out too. Me? Up early? If I have to wake up at 7 or 7:30, or sometimes 8....that's early to me. But 5:30?? If you feel the need to pinch yourself to see if you're dreaming, go ahead. But it'll hurt, because well....you're not dreaming. So here I sit. I'm off next to tidy up and clean a bathroom. (gasp, choke, huh?!) Have a good day everyone!

Half-tagged

Lei tagged me to do the Se7en meme thing. (I'm not really sure what "meme" is...I say it like it's spelled "me me", but I think I'm probably waaay off. It more than likely has some sort of French meaning or something that I learned and have since forgotten since my two years of high school French. Anyway...) She said that she tagged me, but when I looked on her list, I wasn't there. I was, however, linked under another MOF's name, so I guess I'm half-tagged. Which means I could really just do 3 1/2 and not 7. But I'll be good. :)

7 things I want to do before I die:
Have grandchildren.
Live in our "perfect" house out in the middle of nowhere.
Visit the mountains in Canada.
Go on a cruise without kids.
Do temple work for my family that's passed on.
Run a race of some sort. "Race you to the car" or the like doesn't count.
Overcome my shyness.

7 things I cannot do:
Eat any sort of raw meat.
See clearly without glasses or contacts.
Understand why some of my family members think the way they do.
Go poo in a quiet public restroom.
Turn down a really tempting and tasty dessert.
Stop loving my husband and children.
Stop chewing ice.

7 things I say often:
"Chill out!"
"Give me a second!"
"You're my pal, too!"
"Red light! Stop!"
"Reagan, stop whining."
"Ryan, take your paci out so I can hear you."
"I love you too."

7 things that attracted me to my spouse:
His smile
His eyes
His adorable eyebrow thing he does
His personality
His love for me
His body (insert kitty growl) ;)
His love for his mom

7 "authors" I Love (changed from books - see why below):
I'm no good at remembering authors or books. I just know the general stuff I like and then don't remember who wrote it or what it was called. I like floofy novels that suck you in and make you finish them because they are so good. I do like The Cat Who.... mysteries.

7 Movies I Could Watch Over and Over:
Napoleon Dymamite
October Sky
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the one with Gene Wilder)
The Princess Bride
....that's all I can think of.

If you'd like to do the Se7ens, feel free. I'm not going to tag anyone. :) If you do do them, let me know so I can check it out!

Two dirty kids

This picture doesn't do justice to the actual amount of dirt stuck on my kids. They had a fun time playing at the park, which has a base of sand. And it's dusty, dirty sand. Not the clean looking kind of sand. And my son has had this runny nose for about a month now and he wipes it to the side. At one point it looked like he had a mustache of dirt streaked across his cheeks, when really is was dirty sand mixed with snot. Yeah. Real attractive. But my kids are cute. This was right before I got them in the bath. (and as a sidenote: My daughter just came up to me with my deodorant asking to put some on her boobs. Now you either think I'm really weird or that they don't pay close enough attention when they see me putting on my deodorant...) 

Displaying my weirdness

Especially for emlouisa.

My feet: 

My feet doing #1 on my weird list.  

One of THOSE people....

The nesting bug has finally hit. I've been getting anxious about what all needs to be done and what I'd like to get done before the baby gets here. Today, my good friend (you could almost say best friend, since she's like...my only irl friend) came over to help me with some cleaning. As we wash down my kitchen cabinets, she is telling me about her sister-in-law who made a quilt for a gift, because she had spare time. And about how she makes homemade cards that look perfect and how when she started sewing, she basically taught herself and started making really nice church skirts and things that looked not homemade. After she tells me this, I say "oh, she's one of THOSE people..." Then, get this, my friend says that honestly, she considers me to be one of THOSE people.

Okay. Huh?? Are you all as flabbergasted as I am? I mean, honestly. Me? One of THOSE people?? If you, my blog readers, knew me at all, you would soooo not label me as one of THOSE people!

And in case any of you are confused at who THOSE people might be...well, THOSE people are the ones who in their first attempts of baking bread, have it come out perfectly golden brown, with a perfectly rounded top. No gooey-ness in the middle with a dark brown (almost burnt) top. They are the Bree VanDeKamps in the world....not the Susan Meyers. They are the one's who say, "I want to learn to scrapbook" and come up with pages in hours that would have taken a non-THOSE people months to create, let alone finish. They are the ones who never say inappropriate things at inappropriate times because....well, maybe the non-THOSE people are busy chatting away and THOSE people are, you know, too polite to interrupt. Are we clear as to who(m) THOSE people are? Are you one????

So, okay, while I am good at some things, I am not good at all things. I think that not being good at all things pushes me out of the running for being one of THOSE people. And since this post really doesn't have a point, I'll leave you all knowing that I am not one of THOSE people. I haven't ever been, nor do I think I will ever be. I've gotten better at baking bread. I haven't done it in over a year, so I will have to go through a learning curve again, once our kitchen's done. I don't scrapbook, although I love looking at other's pages. It always amazes me at how much creativity one person can have. Maybe they took mine.... I'm a pretty good baker. Maybe not "good", but I enjoy it. I am also decent at making things with a sewing machine. I finished some curtains for our room. They aren't up yet. (no hardware) But when they're hung, I'll brag for a moment or two and you can say "She is sooo totally one of THOSE people...." ;)

Just another Manic Monday..ohhhhh...I wish it were Sunday...

Not really, but man, today was *not* one of my better days. It doesn't help when I can't get to sleep at night and just as I do, my toddler comes in and lays beside me. And I mean *right* beside me. As in, I have to push her over so that I can roll over. And the breath. Oh, the stinky, stinky breath she breathes in my face. It's horrible... To add to my bad night was the boy waking up crying at 5:45. Yeah. I knew I should've hooked his paci to him. It's really a good thing we have a king-size bed. My hubster, the girl, the boy (who does one of those "ehh" whiney things when his sister happens to touch him while she sleeps) and me...the 7+ months pregnant chick with a grand total of maybe (maybe) 8 inches of bed. My gracious hubby happens to wake up just as I get comfortable in my 8 inches and fall asleep and tell me that I can switch him spots. No thanks...he doesn't get that it'll take me longer to get comfortable after getting up and switching. But it was a nice thought.

**adding more Tuesday morning, recapping my day yesterday...***
Actually, I just deleted half of this post. I realized that not only would you be bored to tears reading it, I was bored writing it... That's how nice I am to you all. Why would I want to bore you all with mundane, meaningless words? Yesterday boils down to this: worn out, frustrated, overwhelmed with emotion, me crying (hysterically), my daughter crying and breaking down. Yeah, it was fun. (not)

Reagan just asked for ice cream for breakfast. I told her no, but the more I think about it, the more it sounds like it wouldn't be a bad idea....

No time!

I feel like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. Running around looking for my watch, exclaiming the whole time that I'll be late. I'll be 31 weeks pregnant on Wednesday and I'm starting to approach the official "freak out" stage that I always go through. The questions start flying and I become unreasonable until things are done my way and right now. I wonder how in the heck I got myself into this situation and then go "oh yeah...". I feel like week 40 will never come and I'll be pregnant forever and then I become sad because I think I'll never be able to bend over like I used to, or lay on my stomach. You know, all the things that you really miss doing when you're pregnant.

Our kitchen is *thisclose* to being done. We got our garden started. We're just waiting for Mother Nature to help us out and stop raining (please! Enough already!) and warm up a little. The 50 degree temps are not what I enjoy for May. That way we can actually, you know, finish planting our garden. Bon had last week off and worked on a lot of things and we also had a lot of family time, which was great. He's really a ton of fun when he's not stressed out. I enjoy it! :)

Oh and some other big news....We finally are the proud owners of a MINIVAN!!!! I was seriously starting to freak out about this one. I mean, we own a Geo Metro. Yeah...that's not going to work with three kids. So I actually found this van on Ebay and they lived about 20 inutes from here and were selling it locally too. We looked it over and test drove it, with the aide of my father-in-law, and decided that it was a really good deal and we are very happy with it!

Weirdo

Since this weird thing is going around, I thought I'd do one too. I've actually had a friend say to me "You know, the longer I know you, the more weirder you get!" I took it as a compliment. :) So here are my 6 things.

1. I'm barefoot most of the time. I know that's not too weird, but the weird thing is that I have a habit of taking my 2nd toe on each foot and I'll bend it underneath my foot. So then it looks like my 2nd toe is completely gone or I have a Ripley's Believe It or Not type of foot. My grandma just asked me over Easter weekend if I had a bump on the top of my foot and did it make finding shoes difficult. I laughed and showed her what I was doing. Yeah, she gave me a weird look.

2. I tap out song melodies with my teeth. Like I'll lightly tap my teeth together. I'm quite good at it, since I'm the only one who hears it.

3. I cannot fall asleep if my nose is making any sort of whistling or noise in any fashion. I will blow my nose or sniff and blow out a little in order to make it stop.

4. I can wiggle my eyebrows. Whoopee, you might be thinking. But no folks. I'm an entertainer!!! I can wiggle them together, my right one or my left one. Individually people! Try it! Can you wiggle one or the other without having the other one wiggle?? Okay, if you can...you're weird too. While growing up, people were always amazed I could do that because they couldn't.

5. I like watching DragonTales with my kids. It's one of my favorite shows.

6. I get anxious if we are in a restaurant and they bring out the main course before I'm finished with my salad. I always think "how am I supposed to enjoy the rest of my salad while this sits here getting cold?" And then I finish my salad before I start my main dish. I have to. I cannot let it just sit there and look at me, wondering how I could abandon it...

That's my 6. The last two are stretching it a bit because I couldn't think of anything. I guess I could have called people up to start asking them what they thought was weird about me, but well....that would've been weird. :)

Emotional days

Ever have one of those days that starts out right? Everything is just routine and normal as possible and then as the day progresses, it just gets worse? And I'm not talking about schedules and activities, but about emotions. I had one of those days on Friday. Everything was hunky-dory and then as my day wore on, it was like self-pity and depression just took over and by 4pm, I was bawling my eyes out while scrubbing the tub. The phone rang in the midst of this and I didn't hear it, so Bon pokes his head into the bathroom to let me know I had a phone call. All I can do is shake my head and continue crying. Luckily I calmed down enough to have him ask the question I had originally called for that morning (and had to leave a message). Being the great guy he is, he came back in and talked with me. What was wrong with me?? I'm tired. I'm tired of pretending to be happy all the time. What makes me think I have to be happy all the time anyways? Why is it that I carry that guilt if I'm not? I'm tired of how our house is. I told him that I just want everything to be done. A year. We've lived here for almost a year and I still have no kitchen. I just want to walk into my kitchen and make some cookies or make some bread. Make a real meal without having to time the microwave with the toaster oven because if they are both on at the same time, the circuit trips. When people learn that our "kitchen" is in our basement and consists of a small fridge, utility sink, electric skillet, microwave and toaster oven, they say how sorry and what can they do to help. Well....nothing really. Are they gonna fork over the money for some new cabinets or flooring? Have they invited us over for dinner at all? Nope. I guess that's okay, but man, that's just when my self-pity starts in. And I know that a lot of people have it worse than us. That makes me feel more ungrateful, knowing that I'm complaining about this, when some people don't even have any of what I have. And then it makes me think that hopefully someday when I am able to give, that I do. That if I see a need, that I'll be able to fill it.

I don't know where my post is headed. Just some ramblings I guess. But maybe I'll urge all of you readers, that if there is something that you can do for someone else, even if it's just small and might be unnoticed, do it. Your life will be blessed. You will feel something that borders on euphoria, because whenever I serve others, that's what I feel. That absolute calm, peace, happiness, richness, love. And what a better place we would all be in, if we experienced those kind of feelings daily.

Easter weekend

The following is just a boring spouting from me. I'm still harboring mean feelings, so feel free to skip reading. I just needed to get it out.

Sometimes I wonder how I came from the family I did. I mean, why is it that I am so different and well...normal compared to my sister? I get so frustrated with her and it's so draining.

Background: My sister is 32, hasn't ever held a real job longer than a year (I don't think, and it's not her fault (roll your eyes)), has been on one date when she was 17, has two close friends who are 60+ years old, lives with my 85 year old grandma, has OCD, will never admit she's wrong and will argue her point (which could or could not be wrong) until she proves she's right and always was, has always been bossy and motherly to me (which bugs the living daylights out of me), and is just annoying to me. Oh, and she doesn't get the whole "personal space" thing.

So, I go up on Friday afternoon with the kids. I should know by now that any longer than 48 hours spent with my sister will end up with me being frustrated and annoyed beyond belief. But I always think, "well, maybe this will be different.." It never is. Everything with my sister and grandma is done out of habit. They eat at certain times, not because they're hungry, but because they always eat at that time. And it takes them FOREVER to do anything!!! On Saturday, preparing lunch took an hour. An HOUR!!! Do you know what we had?? Tator tots, Chicken patties and hot dogs for the kids. Yeah. An hour.... They overly stress and worry about the dumbest things! Sunday I was helping get things ready for the Easter dinner and it was a joke! My sister was going to slice some strawberries to put on a pie and it took her at least half an hour. My grandma was busy doing other things (and it takes her a while since she's 85 with Parkinsons), and I was doing the relish tray and set the table and put things back in the fridge that we didn't need. The company wasn't coming for another forty-five minutes to half an hour and grandma didn't think we had time to make deviled eggs. We had eggs already boiled. They just needed peeled and prepared, but we didn't have deviled eggs, because there wasn't time to make them. Whatever. (okay, I'm a little bitter about that. I was really looking forward to having them, but she sent home some eggs with me, so I can make my own. I'm going to time myself and see how long it takes me...) So once my sister got her strawberries sliced, she went around doing dumb stuff, like changing the hand towel in the bathroom and who knows what else. But at least she gave commentary on EVERYTHING she did. "I think I'll change the hand towel, so that we have a dry one for when so-and-so get here", "I think I'll take the garbage out", etc. I was seriously about to go off.

And the OCD. Drives me crazy! She was putting the Barbie stuff away after she "played" with Reagan and said "I don't know why we didn't do this sooner". I asked what she was talking about. Well, putting the barbie clothes into card boxes instead of just throwing them all into a big box like "we did when we were younger". I was speechless. I thought some nasty things, but I didn't say anything. Then we were getting the kids easter baskets ready and she was counting out everything evenly and made sure the colors were even too. She was getting hershey kisses out of the bag for our 3rd cousin and was saying "pink, blue, silver..." over and over to make sure she had even colors of kisses to give her. My method? Grab a handful and toss it in. And when we colored easter eggs, Grandma asked what colors it made and she rattled off a list of colors and I looked on the box and she had actually named the colors in the order they were listed. Like she had memorized it. Now for most that would be a random coinsidence, but with my sister, I believe that she really did memorize it.

Okay. I think I'm done ranting. Go about your regularly scheduled lives...

Idle threats

When you become a mother, I think it's required that at some point, you must make idle threats to make your children think you have the upper hand in the mother/child relationship. However, when your child/ren become overly excited about your idle threat and actually want to see it happen...well, what do you do then? The other night I told Rboy to "Get over here now, or I'll break your legs!". I would, for the record, NEVER break his legs. But Rgirl was really excited about the whole thing. She told me that she wanted to see it. ("It" being the process of me breaking his legs.) I informed her that I wasn't going to really break his legs, I was just teasing him. Then she wanted me to break her legs. What is up with this girl? She's just plain crazy!! ;)

Oh and she now claims that Smart Money magazine is her favorite. I tried looking through it last night and almost died from boredom....

This kid cracks me up!

(Since our kids names start with the same letter, I'll refer to the girl as Rgirl and the boy as Rboy.)

Yesterday Rgirl had a nap, so that messed up her bedtime. She was still wide awake at 11 pm when Bon and I were crawling into bed. She was laying between us asking a whole bunch of questions. Most of them were hilarious. But at one point, I thought I was going to pee my pants with what she said. Here's the conversation....

Me to Bon: "I love you!"

Bon to me: jokingly "Why?"

Me: "Why? Let me count the ways."

A half second of silence...

Me: "You have a really nice bottom."

Rgirl: "One."

Bon and I cracked UP!!!!! Oh my gosh! She is so funny. Bon then said to her "You understand everything we say, don't you!?" Oh, sweet little girl...

It's sprung!

Spring that is. Whatever were you dirty-minded people thinking of?? ;) Yesterday was fairly nice weather. Lots of sun. I cleaned out our car and went through the car wash. Today I got the kids sandbox cleaned and other various items that were outside alllll winter. It feels so good to have done something. My kids also had a great time playing in the mud puddle that formed at the bottom of the hill from the hose water. I decided that their hard plastic baby pool that can no longer hold water, would make a perfect little container for a child-size garden. I'm really looking forward to doing that and getting it all ready for them in the next month or so.

My daughter also has a friend named Ralph. He's not the kind of friend that she can have over or watch a movie with. Instead, Ralph is an earthworm. We met Ralph earlier this year when we were transplanting some trees during some nicer weather. Occasionaly she'll ask about Ralph, how he is, when she gets to see him, etc. I keep telling her not until the spring when we get our garden ready. Today, however, we saw some of Ralph's cousins. Bon and I named them Diego, Hector and Vamanos. They were much smaller and not as plump as Ralph, so of course they couldn't be his brothers or sisters. Diego, Hector and Vamanos were quickly shriveled up and um...well...dead under the sun's rays. I washed them into the grass with the hose, so they'd be harder to find and freak out about. She did ask about them before we went inside. I told her they moved to the grass where it was softer. Now, with earthworms, I know that if you chop them in half, they'll still live and just grow another half or whatever. But since I re-hydrated them somewhat, can they just come back to life?? Will we be blessed with the presence of Hector, Diego and Vamanos again?? Man, I need a life. :)

Also, notice the ease of naming earthworms that we have. However, we cannot come up with a name for this baby....

Bananas

We went to Kroger tonight as a family. Yay, what an exciting time! On the way there, Bon said that I should know exactly what we need, so that we don't waste any time deciding over things. Um...okay. Sometimes he's so dorky it's irresistible. lol Kroger also had a bird flying around. I thanked the cashier as we left. That bird saved our sanity. "Did you see the bird? Oh look!" Instead of "Sit down right now!" or "I told you ___" (fill in the blank with the appropriate reaction...such as, "to get your feet inside the cart", "not to touch that", etc...). But if you're wondering why this post is titled "Bananas", no, I'm not going to quote the Gwen Stefani song, but I'm appalled and just saddened that there were NO bananas available for purchase!! Sure, they had those little tiny two inch ones that cost $1.29 a pound. But I wanted big ones that would satisfy my kids banana loving bodies!! None! I almost cried. I grabbed a quarter of watermelon instead and will probably eat it all myself, due to the stress of not having any bananas.

Our last snow (please let this be the last of the snow)

I am so ready for spring. I think that's the general attitude for most of the blogs I read. Even though we had a mostly mild fall and winter, this season has seemed to drag on and on and on and forever!! Being the good mom that I am, I decided to bundle the kids up and take them out in the snow before it melted away until next winter. We used some sleds I got from Target on 75% clearance a month or so ago (score!) and played with those in the backyard. Then out front we went to build a very small snowman. He's maybe 2 feet tall and has a prosthetic icicle for an arm, but other than that, he's pretty cute.

Smack talk from a 3 year old

Our daughter has become obsessed with playing games. Sounds fun and innocent? Well. Heh. We have this game for the X-box called Fusion Frenzy. Totally easy and fun games to play. (I say easy as if I'm really good at them. Truth is...I suck.) These are the "games" that she wants to play. So yesterday I indulged her while the boy napped. We played for a while and she was having fun. (And I'll admit I was too.) Before each game would start, I would ask what color she was and usually she'd pick a color that the computer was playing. She usually won playing that way too. So her "real" color (person) either didn't score or was 4th place. During one game, she says "Ha! You'll never beat me now!" in a Swiper the Fox sort of way. I said "Are you smack-talkin me?!" "Yeah, I'm mack talkin you." Sweet! lol And today her and the boy were fighting and I turn and see her pinning him to the floor! Holy wrestling moves Batman! Pretty soon we'll need to feed her vitamins and make her bench press her own weight. :P

Is it Friday yet?

I have so much to do this week, that I wish it was already over. We finally decided where we're having our daughter's birthday party and so now I have to call a butt-load...I mean, a bunch of people and invite them. And prepare the party. My husband is a total last-minute, throw it all together and it'll be fine kinda guy, but I tend to stress and worry over these sorts of things. I guess you could call me a people pleaser. Oh well...someday I hope to be the kind of person my husband is. I think life would be a lot easier.

We had some friends over last night for FHE (family home evening, a time to be together as a family). Then the wife and I went shopping. We had a good time. At least, I had a good time. I can never really tell if she is really having a good time or faking it so that she won't make me feel bad about not having a good time. I was able to get away from the kids for a couple of hours, so that's always a plus in my book.

Well, I should get on with my day and make more phone calls. "Hi, we'd like to invite you and the family to R's birthday party on Saturday." Anyone wanna come? We'll have pizza and cake. :)

My son...a little rambling post

He's a cute little bugger. Our son is 21 months or so and honestly one of the cutest kids I have ever seen. I'm not just saying this because he's mine, but because it's true. :) Every Sunday we get up and go to church, this Sunday being no different. We get there late (like an hour late), because it was a late night and we didn't wake up in time. The kids get to go into nursery and love it in there. The boy is a bit timid when going in, but once he sees the puzzles and starts playing, we (whichever parent drops them off) can leave. We always ask how they were, in case they were rowdy, when we pick them up. And almost every week, the nursery leader tells us that they were fine and states that our son had crawled under the table to rest. Today I went in to pick them up and our son was laying on a blanket with another one on top, his arms flung out to the side and his head turned, watching the other kids run around. Totally motionless. The nursery leaders informed me that he had crawled into the toy box and proceded to try and nap. So they, of course, laughed at how odd that was and decided to put him on the blanket and cover him. Apparantly, he had laid there for half an hour, motionless, but not daring to close his eyes. Cracked me up! I mean, what toddler decides to lay down and sleep when he is among other toddlers?? It was adorable and something that I'll always get a little chuckle out of.

Stop getting sick already!

Last week I started infecting the whole Retrac household with the flu/stomach bug/24-hours-from-hell thingy. Our son got it on Thursday. Everyone was peachy-keen the whole weekend and then Bon calls on his way home from Indiana yesterday that he feels ill. Once home he tells me that upon reaching Richmond, he can't hold it in any longer and as he's pulling off the freeway, he's puking out the car window. I really feel for other commuters and anyone who lives in or around the Richmond area. That is something I could go my life without seeing. He recovers quickly and is feeling good today. But at 11 pm last night, our daughter decides it's her turn. Sweet... The smell of her puke makes Bon's stomach turn and gurgle, so he spends the night in the bathroom (just sleeping, but away from odors). I'm left with the girl who is puking every 1/2 hour or so until 4 am. Then once at 7. She was polite about it though. At one point I put the bucket under her and she said "no thanks" and then started gagging more. We had put a few towels on our bed to catch any misses, since she did like to turn her head mid-heaving. And her diva-ness was also revealed as she yelled "WIPE MY MOUTH!" at one point. She's only been sick once today, and we both had a good nap. Let's just stop this puking madness!!!

Loving teases

So over the past few days, anytime something humorous happens, Bon will tease me about "this is going in the blog". Well, since my short (and long) term memory have been sucked almost dry since having kids, I can never think of what it was exactly that we thought was so funny. I do have something that *I* think is hilarious, but would others?? You tell me... Bon has a friend that is getting married in April. Not too funny...in fact, very nice for him. Well, the funny and head-scratching part is that they are having a Midevil themed wedding. (Midevil...is that spelled right?) If Bon decides to go, they want him to dress up. In describing the outfit to me, Bon said "Robinhood". So now all I can think of is my dh dressed up as Peter Pan with a mix of Puss in Boots (from Shrek 2). Are your cheeks hurting yet?
(By the way...that is NOT Bon in the picture to the right...)

Here's another funny part of the story. (please do continue to read, as it gets extremely funny...) We think the wedding is the same weekend as Easter. And Bon has agreed to dress up as the part of the Savior for some sort of presentation at church. So in one weekend, he'll be Robinhood and Jesus Christ. How lucky can one guy get?!

We found out last Thursday that we are having a boy! We were both hoping for a girl, but we've hoped for a girl for all of them and have only had 50/50 success rate. Sorry son, we really do love you and think you are the cutest boy on the planet! Your brother will be right behind you in line on that cutest boy thing. We don't have any names picked out. Our son was nameless for a day and a half. Once we named him, we realized that both his and his sister's names mean the same thing. So with this one, I'm thinking of finding something similar. I think that would be cool. I suggested Benson to Bon last night and he gave me an incredulous look (maybe he even swallowed back some vomit that had come up...). He said it sounded like the butler's name in Diff'rent Strokes (?). Then he kept up on the subject of butlers, like the guy on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. So I will take back my offer of naming our son Benson. Just so that our son isn't doomed for a life in servitude.

Wrong number

My husband has an unusual name. It's one of those names where people actually say "is that his real name?" or "is he foreign?" Yes, it's his real name and no, he's not foreign. It's also a name that gets corrected a lot..."don?", "ron?", "jon?". No it's Bon with a B as in boy, bravo, boo-boo, get down and Boogie...

So I always feel bad when (and this actually has happened more than once), we get a phone call and the person asks for "Don". My reply is usually to make sure they repeat who they want and then if it's still "Don", I'll tell them they have the wrong number. Today, however, I didn't ask him to repeat it, and now I feel bad. Maybe he did want Bon and he said Don instead and I just hastily told him that he had the wrong number. He did sound sort of suprised that he had dialed wrong... Oh well...It's been over 10 minutes and he hasn't called back. "Don's" not even home anyway. ;)

Is it Thursday yet?

I go in to have an ultrasound on Thursday to find out the gender of our babe. Oh and to make sure it's healthy and all that. I'm very excited. I mean, who wouldn't be excited to lay on a table and watch a little tv and see inside their body?? If my husband had that opportunity, I'm sure he'd jump on it. I did make the mistake one time of asking what that "big white spot" was and when she told me, frankly, I felt a little embarrassed that anyone had to see that. But back to baby-watching. I think it's so amazing and thrilling to see a baby on an ultrasound. I wish that there were at-home ultrasound machines. They have dopplars that can be rented or purchased...why not make the u/s machines available for all? Instead of wondering or reading about how big this baby may be, I want to see it each week...uh...day. Instead of being hooked on Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy, I'd be hooked on baby-watching.

Anyone who has known me for over a year, knows the horror of house remodeling that we've been going through. My dad has been coming to help for the past 3 weekends. We have to do a bit more mudding and then we can finish painting and start (and finish) some decision making on cabinets and flooring. My dad told us that the first weekend he came, we looked "lost". Uh, good word. He then said he felt sorry for us. lol Yeah, we are a bit pathetic... But soon, soon this will all be behind us and we will say "remember when..." and smile at the memories of how badly we wanted to torch this place....

Oh and anyone....

I live in EST, but cannot for the life of me figure out which time zone thingy I'm to pick on their list. Anyone else with some brain cells help me out?

Hiding under a towel

I've decided to start a blog. It won't be filled with witty, thought-provoking commentary on my life. Just normal, every day stuff that happens when you are a SAHM with two toddlers. But if you're wondering why I've decided to start, well, let me tell you. I'm doing it for a couple of reasons. 1) I have a friend with a blog and I really wanted to comment, but dangit...no blog, therefore, no comment. *ahem*kansas...I'm talking about you. 2) I'll be the second to admit that I'm a follower. I couldn't be the first to admit, because then I'd be leading...duh. So a lot of my online friends (or maybe they're people I call my friends, but they don't really know much/anything about me) have blogs and it just seems like the natural thing to do. Blog that is. 3) I get bored a lot and I should be journaling and I don't know where my *real* journal is... And lastly 4) My daughter, who will be 3 next month, hides under a towel while going number 2 in the potty. Why? Who the heck knows... Anyway, the other day she wanted me to hide with her. So there I am, hiding under a towel while my daughter poops and my son pops his head under the towel too and I think "I could totally blog about this".